Most Common Mistakes and Quick Fixes
It's best to think of your POV character as your camera, your recording device, and your only method of gathering story data. If your POV character can't see it, you can't describe it for your readers. If he can't hear it, you can't let your readers hear it. If your POV character doesn't know it, you can't tell it to the reader. If your character wouldn't think that way, then you can't write that way.
What if your character can't see the action she is describing? Consider this example:
If he's standing behind her and she doesn't have a mirror in front of her, eyes in the back of her head, or a secret spy camera, then she can't see what he's doing. And remember if she can't see it, you can't describe it.
Use the other senses. She can smell him, she can hear him, and she can imagine what he's doing. For example:
What if your character can't hear the event she is describing? Consider this:
If she can't hear it, she obviously can't describe it. Moreover, if she didn't suspect it, who is telling the reader this information? This is not in her POV.
Set the mood that hints at what you want the reader to fear. You can also have your character imagine the worst. For example:
Consider the problems if your character wouldn't think the thoughts ascribed to them. For example:
We all know that if we did have beautifully long fingers, we would probably hate them and want smaller hands. Unless your character is a self-centered person with an ego problem, she probably wouldn't think of herself so highly. Also, notice that the second and third sentences in this example are written as if from the POV of the person who is seeing the scene unfold.
If someone accuses your character of being egotistical, check to see if you have allowed the character to describe herself in a way that would be best coming from the POV of another character.
The best way to describe a character is to do it in another person's POV. The hero could easily think about the heroine's beautiful lips and straight teeth. Or, you could still use similar thoughts in the heroine's POV, but change the wording so it doesn't sound as if she thinks so highly of herself. Also, make sure the descriptions don't read as if she's seeing herself in a nonexistent mirror.
Consider this revised version:
Another type of POV problem involves information that your character couldn't possibly know. For example:
To be true to third-person POV, you can't write what your character doesn't know. To do this, is what the POV “police” may refer to as either omniscient POV or author's POV. Your character can think of all the things that might wait in that room. She can guess, imagine, and surmise, but she can't know what she doesn't know or describe what she doesn't see until she sees it and knows it.
Below are a few other omniscient or author's POV slips that are often used:
DeeAnn got out of her car, shut the door, and walked away. She never realized that she'd left her keys in the ignition. John decided to take the job. He wouldn't find out for several months that it would turn out to be the biggest mistake of his life. Shala walked right past the window and never noticed that someone had left it open.
When someone says they are not bonding with your main character, you may be switching POVs too often. Remember, your main characters should have more POV page time than your secondary characters.
Head hopping is when an author is in one character's POV and suddenly hops into a different character's POV. Nora Roberts, along with numerous other well-established romance authors, have mastered this POV style. But not everyone is Nora or has her quick-switch capabilities. And here's why.
When a writer changes POV, she needs to make sure that the reader follows this shift and doesn't feel jarred. Have you ever been reading and suddenly wondered … Who is thinking this? Generally, this means that the author has hopped into someone else's head and you, the reader, didn't follow the shift. When you jar readers, no matter how slightly, they are very likely to put down the book.
There are many authors who are POV purists, who never change POVs within a scene. Some, however, do find that moving once within a scene is acceptable. New authors who may be tempted to head-hop are cautioned to make sure that the switch is done in such a way that the reader is never confused.
