Am I Nuts for Doing This Shower?

There could be a moment or two in the next few weeks while you are planning this shower when you think, “Gee, why am I doing this anyway?” Especially if you have never been a bride and had your own shower, if you have small children, if you work full time, if you have anything else to do all day other than plan parties.

You are planning this party because you want everyone to have a memorable time, or a fun time, or for her to know how much you care about her, or because she is your colleague. Or are you also hoping to make new friends? To practice your organizational skills? How about because you wonder if you would like to quit your day job and become a caterer or party planner for a living?

Once you know why you want to host this party, you need to think about the kind of person you are and the kind of person she is. If she's quiet and reserved, she might not enjoy a party at Chippendale's, even though you and her other friends might. If you or some of the other girls just cannot keep a secret for anything, you might not want to plan her a surprise party.

If you and the bride are friends but your personality styles really don't match, you'll probably want to defer to her style as much as possible. After all, this party is for her. Think about the kinds of things she loves to do. Would she be more thrilled at an English tea party in a big garden some afternoon? Or a male stripper? Or a traditional party at someone's home or at church? What kind of person is your bride?

If you think about it, you'll come up with all sorts of interesting things she likes to do that might be able to be incorporated into a unique and fun party.

  • Is she a nature lover? Have the party in a national park!

  • Is she a city girl with a love of animals? What about at the zoo?

  • Does she go nuts over Laura Ashley's stuff? You might want to try that tea party in a garden!

  • Is she just a “good ol’ girl”? You might have fun at a local pool hall with a surprise male stripper.

  • A Martha Stewart wife-to-be? Try booking a local craft or ceramic shop for some workshop time.

The thing to remember is this: This party should make her feel comfortable and happy. It should not embarrass her or bore her. The idea is a fun night out from all the hectic preparations for the wedding with a bunch of her friends—not a trip to the outer limits of her comfort zone.

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