Selecting the Wedding Party
The wedding party should be a collection of special people from your lives who want nothing more than your happiness. Siblings, good friends, and members of the family are all candidates to be bridesmaids and groomsmen. Just remember to ask people you can lean on for support, who have your best interests at heart, and who are willing to listen to you no matter how important or trivial the planning decisions may be.
The Numbers Game
How many attendants should I have? The number of bridesmaids, groomsmen, and ushers you and your fiancé have is up to you, but in general, the more formal the wedding, the more attendants you have. A good rule of thumb is to have at least one groomsmen or usher for every fifty guests and a corresponding number of bridesmaids.
Do I need to have the same number of bridesmaids and ushers? It's perfectly okay if you have more bridesmaids than groomsmen, or visa versa. If you're worried about symmetry in the processional or recessional, two ushers can always escort one bridesmaid or a bridesmaid can walk out alone. As for the scheduled dances at the reception, you can have one of the “extras” dance with her date or another special guest, or have the entire wedding party dance with their own dates.
Fact
The groomsmen also carry out all the ushers' responsibilities in terms of seating guests and therefore are doing double duty. However, it is entirely appropriate for your fiancé to give the seating duties to his other friends, calling them ushers and thereby enabling even more people to feel like an important part of the wedding ceremony.
Making Choices
I have two best friends, and I can't choose between them without the risk of hurt feelings. Can I have two maids of honor? There is no reason you cannot have two honor attendants. In fact, choosing two maids/matrons of honor should prove beneficial, as the maid of honor duties could be divided between them. As long as you inform both honor attendants of their co-MOH status and help guide them through the task of divvying up responsibilities, you will likely find that two maids are better than one.
Do I have to include immediate family before friends? Bridesmaids are supposed to be the people closest to you, so if you haven't talked to your sister since she moved across the country three years ago, there's no rule that states you must have her as a bridesmaid. The same goes for your fiancé's sister. However, not asking them to be in your wedding party may cause family strife, so think twice before excluding them.
