You may want to share your good news with the world, but don't. Not yet anyway. Your families, your best friend, and any children or possibly even ex-spouses should be told first. Wouldn't your mother be crushed if she heard the news from your aunt's coworker's drycleaner?

The Parents

How do we decide which set of parents to tell first? Traditionally the bride-to-be's family is told first. The groom's family is told next, and this should be done soon after.

Once we are engaged, should our parents contact each other? Traditionally, the groom's family contacts the bride's parents, either through a short note or phone call. Avoid e-mail, especially if this is their first contact. If the bride's parents are divorced, the groom's parents should call the parent who raised her and then call the other parent later. If the two families live close by, they can have brunch or drinks together and each can get an idea of the other's expectations for the wedding. In some cases, it may be necessary for you and/or your fiancé to initiate this exchange.

What if my parents and fiancé have never met? If you know the engagement is pending, as many do, try to bring your future husband home to spend a few days with your family before the engagement is official (or at least before sharing the news with everyone). Giving your parents and fiancé a chance to get to know each other before announcing your engagement starts you off on a solid foundation.

The “New” Family

My parents are divorced. Whom should I tell first? You know your family better than anyone else. If you still live with a parent, they should be the first to know. Otherwise, whichever parent you are the closest to is told first. On the other hand, if you know your dad loves your fiancé and your mom doesn't, telling Dad first may be wise, as he may be able to help smooth it over with Mom.

What if one of us has children? If one of you has children, tell them right away. Don't risk them feeling excluded. They will want to know how a new mother or father will affect them. While it is not essential that children of a divorce give their consent, tremendous compassion should be used in breaking the news.

How should I let my ex-spouse know I'm getting remarried? A phone call would be fine. If you have children together, they should not be the ones to announce the news to your ex-spouse. Prepare for questions about alimony payments or custody arrangements. If you don't have kids, then your decision to tell your ex-spouse depends on your relationship with him.

What's in a Name?

How do I find out what my in-laws want me to call them? If you are meeting your future in-laws for the first time, your fiancé should formally introduce you. This is the perfect moment to address this subject, as they will most likely tell you what to call them. Otherwise, simply ask. Chances are, if this is an issue for them, and sometimes it is, they will have said something directly to either you or your fiancé.

What should my fiancé's children call me? You want the children to call you something they feel comfortable with, and that may just be referring to you by your first name. If you have been a part of the children's lives throughout your dating relationship, the children have probably already decided what they are going to call you. If you are just coming into the children's lives, you will need to have a discussion with your fiancé about this; he may even need to speak with his ex-spouse.