Who Are All These People?
Your mother wants to invite her walking buddy, who knows everything about your wedding despite the fact that she's never met you. Your mother-in-law wants to invite the ladies from the country club, because she was invited to all of their daughters' weddings. You're just wondering, “How do I make sense of all these people, keep everyone happy, and not lose my mind?”
Fact
The custom of the bridal shower is believed to have started in Holland, where legend has it that one man refused to provide the then-essential dowry for his daughter because he disapproved of her marriage to a less-than-wealthy miller. Her friends provided the dowry by “showering” her with gifts.
Why Have a Bridal Shower?
What is the bridal shower for? A bridal shower is a time for close friends and family to celebrate a couple's impending marriage and, of course, to shower the couple with gifts.
Is it necessary to invite every woman from the guest list to the bridal shower? Showers are supposed to be small and intimate, so there's no need to invite every female on the wedding guest list. Only close friends of the bride and family members need to be included.
Many of my close friends live out of town. Should they be invited to the shower even though I know they won't be able to attend? Sending a shower invitation to friends in distant places is a great way to make them feel included in the festivities. Long-distance invitations should be extended only to those with whom you have a close relationship, as these guests may feel compelled to send gifts and you do not want the invitation to seem like you are just looking for gifts.
Question
Is it okay to have more than one bridal shower?
Many brides have more than one shower to accommodate different groups of invitees. A distant member of the groom's family or a coworker may want to host a shower. Dividing the guest list can also lessen the financial burden one large bridal shower can impose on the hostess.
Special Considerations
If most of my close friends, including my maid of honor, live out of town, can they throw a shower the day before the wedding? Throwing the shower in the days before the wedding is a viable option. Just be sure this last-minute bridal shower doesn't conflict with other wedding activities, such as the bridesmaid's tea, wedding rehearsal, or the rehearsal dinner.
Can we have a co-ed party instead? There's no reason you can't have a co-ed party; just try to avoid gender-specific activities and bridal shower games. Stick to a gender-neutral theme as well.
