After all this talk of who is supposed to pay for what, it comes time to figure out how your wedding is really going to be paid for. While the bride's parents traditionally finance a major portion of the wedding, it is common for the groom's parents to contribute to the budget.

Often, because couples are marrying later in life and have the financial means to do so, the bride and groom also finance a portion or sometimes the entire wedding themselves. To sum it up, it really doesn't matter where the money comes from anymore.

Divvying Up the Expenses

• Can I ask my fiancé's parents to pay for part of the wedding?

  Talk to you parents first, and if it is important to them to be the hosts of the wedding, try to respect their wishes and keep your wedding on a scale that is within your family's budget. If you or your fiancé want something more elaborate than your parents can realistically afford, you should accept that financial responsibility. If you really feel the need to ask his parents for money, you should discuss it with your parents first, and then your fiancé (not you) should talk to his parents about contributing.

• To help offset expenses can we have a cash bar at the reception?

  Cash bars have traditionally been considered taboo; however, they are steadily becoming more commonplace. Strictly speaking, your guests should come to your wedding without having to pay for their own drinks (or anything else). If budget is a concern, offer a soft bar (beer, wine, and soft drinks), and forego premium alcohol.

• I just found out that my church is playing host to another wedding ceremony on the same day as mine. Would it be okay for me to ask whether the other couple wants to use the same flowers and split the cost?

  It doesn't hurt to ask, as long as you are not planning to reuse these flowers at your reception. Of course, the other couple may decline the offer, and then you will need to make other plans.