It used to be easy. A ceremony was held at the family church, followed by a reception at the local hotel. That was then, this is now.

Today, a marriage is a marriage, but a wedding is another thing entirely. Consequently, the choice of a wedding venue is one of the most important elements of your wedding. It sets the tone for the planning and plays a major role in all stylistic decisions.

Selecting the Ceremony Venue

How do I decide if we should marry in a house of worship? First you need to examine your religious views and those of your fiancé. Then decide if marrying in a house of worship is the right thing to do for you as a couple. You may want to consult your parents; they will surely have an opinion about this matter. If you do not regularly attend a house of worship, you will need to find a location that will marry nonmembers.

What are other options for a ceremony venue? There are so many wonderful options for a ceremony. Public parks and gardens, the beach, a boat, the reception venue, city hall, and sometimes even your home are valid choices for holding a ceremony.

What else should I consider when selecting my ceremony location? One of the most important aspects of selecting a ceremony site is its proximity to the reception venue. The two locations should be no more than a thirty-minute drive from each other. Additionally, you should also consider the accessibility of the site. For example, would you be crushed if your ninety-year-old grandmother couldn't make it down the rocky beachfront staircase to see you exchange vows? If so, you should really pick another location.

Selecting the Reception Venue

My dad thinks a wedding reception means cake and punch in the church's community room. How do I break it to him that times have changed? The truth is cake and punch receptions are still done, and when it fits your lifestyle and budget it is a perfectly lovely option. But if this doesn't play into your ideal, you are going to need to provide your father with some facts about modern weddings. Show him some photos or even take him location hunting with you. It will be an eye-opener.

The church has a ceremony time of 2:00 P.M. but we cannot begin the reception until 5:00 P.M. What do we do with our guests during this time? Leaving your guests wondering what to do for two hours is not considerate and may leave some guests with a complaint or two, but there are options. First, ask the reception venue manager if she has an area, like a garden or a meeting room, where you can have light refreshments set up during this time. You could make similar arrangements at a nearby restaurant. Another option is to ask a close friend or relative to have an “open house” during which time the guests can stop in for refreshments. Of course, the size of your wedding will determine if this is possible. Just remember these are your guests; keep them happy and entertained, and remember that they should not be paying for any of this.

Other Considerations

Does my location dictate the style of my wedding? When you select your location, make sure it is complimentary to your wedding vision. Fighting against the established environment will give you nothing but trouble. Ultimately, the wedding could end up looking like a stylistic disaster, or it could cost you plenty of money to transform the location into your desired look.

I am planning on getting married at a historic mansion. The rental fee is only $1,000. I should be able to save a lot of money, right? Off-site locations have so many variables that additional expenses — valets, rentals, insurance, cleaning fees, security deposits, etc. — can add up quickly. While anything is possible, as a rule, off-site weddings typically cost more than weddings at traditional venues such as hotels, catering halls, and country clubs. You need to be a savvy budgeter to make this work. If possible, work with a wedding planner to pull this off without a hitch and within your budget.