Formally Speaking
The formality of your wedding will govern almost all aspects of your planning. The budget, size of the guest list, and time of day greatly influence the formality of the wedding as well. The following are some general guidelines to follow. Just remember, whatever level of formality you choose, try to keep it more or less consistent throughout.
Levels of Formality
Acquainting yourself with the traditional hallmarks of formality will assist you in deciding the tone for your wedding. For modern weddings, there is a great deal of emphasis on making each event unique and personal. As this trend continues, the lines between “very formal,” “semiformal,” and “informal” are blurring.
A VERY FORMAL WEDDING:
Occurs in a church, synagogue, preferred house of worship, or luxury hotel
Two hundred or more guests
Engraved invitations with traditional typeface and wording
Floor-length bridal gown, cathedral-length train, full-length veil, and long sleeves/arm-covering gloves
Cutaway or tails for the groom
Four to twelve bridesmaids and a matching number of groomsmen
Matching floor-length bridesmaids' dresses or gowns
Matching cutaways or tails for the groomsmen
Formal attire (white tie for evening) for the guests
A luxury hotel, event space, private club, private mansion, or other unique property for the reception site
Elaborate sit-down dinner
Orchestra or live band
Elaborate floral and event design
Hired transportation, such as limousines or antique cars
A FORMAL WEDDING:
Occurs in a church, synagogue, preferred house of worship, or luxury hotel
One hundred or more guests
Engraved or letterpress invitations with traditional wording
Floor-length bridal gown, chapel-length or sweeping train, fingertip veil or hat, and gloves
Cutaway or tails for the groom
Three to six bridesmaids and a matching number of attendants
Matching floor-length bridesmaids' dresses or gowns
Matching cutaway or tails for groomsmen
Formal attire or evening wear (black tie for evenings) for guests
A luxury hotel, event space, private club, private mansion, or other unique property for the reception site
Sit-down dinner, buffet, or stations
Live band or disc jockey
Medium-size bouquets and floral displays
Hired transportation such as limousines, antique cars, or horse-drawn carriages
A SEMIFORMAL WEDDING:
Held in a church, synagogue, preferred house of worship, hotel, outdoors, or other inspiring location
Fewer than one hundred guests
Thermography invitations printed with traditional or personalized wording
Floor- or cocktail-length bridal gown with a fingertip veil or hat
A tuxedo, sack coat, or suit and tie for the groom
One to three bridesmaids and a matching number of attendants
Matching floor- or cocktail-length bridesmaids' dresses
Matching tuxes or suits and ties for groomsmen
Evening or business dress for guests
a hotel, event space, club, garden, restaurant, or home for the reception site
A simple meal, light refreshments, hors d'oeuvres
Live band or disc jockey
Small bouquet for the bride, simple flower arrangements for decorations
AN INFORMAL WEDDING:
Daytime ceremony often held at home or in a judge's chambers
Fewer than fifty guests
Printed or handwritten invitations with personalized wording
A simple bridal gown, suit, or cocktail-length dress, with no veil or train
A dark business suit and tie for the groom
One attendant each
A street-length dress for the maid-of-honor (or matron)
A suit and tie for the best man
Reception at home, at the site of the ceremony, or at a restaurant
A simple meal or light refreshments
Corsage or small bridal bouquet, simple flower arrangements for decorations
Defining Your Formality
There are many other factors to consider when determining the level of formality you want for your wedding. You may also want to take into account some of the following personal factors when determining your wedding's formality:
Lifestyle. If you grew up eating caviar and drinking champagne, will a simple reception at the church hall satisfy you and your guests, or visa versa?
Personality. If you are casual in your everyday life, would holding a very formal wedding make you feel like a princess or like a fish out of water?
Locale. Does your dream of marrying barefoot on the beach “marry” with your other dream of dinner and dancing at a five-star hotel? Or, for example, if you dream of marrying with the ocean as your backdrop, you may need to schedule an afternoon or daytime wedding depending on the time of year. If the sun sets prior to the ceremony, no one will even see the ocean. You may have to compromise on some of your ideas based upon the formality and locale.
