Many prayers make a connection between the Virgin Mary and death. The Gospel of John places the Virgin Mary at the cross with Mary (the wife of Cleopas) and Mary Magdalene. Mary's placement at the cross where her son died has also been a common theme in Western art, especially much-loved images of the Pieta, which show the Virgin Mary with a look of anguished sorrow on her face while holding Christ in her arms just after he died.

A Unique Experience of Grief

Because many believe that the Virgin Mary witnessed her son's death on the cross, it has been widely believed that her experience gave her unique insights into the experience of grief, loss, and death. Her presence at the cross has given Christians reason to turn to her both when facing the loss of a loved one and at their own final hour. This is especially true for parents who have lost a child, who have sometimes found strength and solace in the example of the Virgin Mary.

The famous philosopher Søren Kierkegaard wrote about the Virgin Mary in his journal. In one passage he described how both Christ and Mary had to suffer in Christ's death. According to Kierkegaard, the sword that was to pierce Mary's heart in the Gospels was not just related to her experience of watching her son die, but was also related to her son's experience of feeling abandoned by God when he was on the cross. According to Kierkegaard, the sword could be connected to the words Christ said from the cross, “My God, My God why have you forsaken me” (Matthew 27:46).

This feeling of being utterly abandoned by God was clearly experienced by Christ, and may have been experienced by his mother as well. Certainly this feeling is common among those who grieve the loss of a loved one.

Nightfall

According to Church tradition, there is a connection between Mary, Saint Simeon (who, as noted in Chapter 8, prophesied to Mary that a sword would pierce her heart), and the hour of death. Evening prayers in both Eastern and Western churches often quote the words Simeon spoke just after the infant Christ was brought to the Temple for dedication, “Lord you have now set your servant free to go in peace as you have promised, for my eyes have seen the Savior of the world a light to the gentiles and the glory of your people, Israel.” This statement was not connected to Simeon leaving the temple so much as it was to Simeon leaving this world. According to a prophecy he would not die until his own eyes had seen the Savior. The placement of this passage in the Western Compline services and the Eastern Orthodox Vespers service draws a connection between nightfall and death.

Christians have held the belief that each night is a practice run for the final laying down of arms, in which we die in this world and wake in the next. Christians have also often referred to faithfully departed as those who “have fallen asleep.”

This idea serves as a reminder that death is more like sleep than a final condition. Within the Eastern Church, the feast of the Dormition, the Virgin Mary's “falling asleep,” is celebrated on August 15. (This is another name for the feast more commonly called the Assumption in the West.)