Roles of Parents and Children
Muslim children learn early on that each person has his or her duties and responsibilities. It is the children's responsibility to listen to and obey their parents, recognizing their experience and wisdom.
It is expected that Muslim children treat their parents with kindness and respect their authority. Muslim parents are not loose disciplinarians, but they are advised that children should be treated according to their nature and in accordance with their level of understanding.
Muslim parents, in turn, have a responsibility to care for their children physically and emotionally. Parents provide support, guidance, and structure in a child's life. It is worth noting the origin of the word “discipline” in English. Stemming from the word “disciple,” it means a follower, or a devoted learner. An equivalent word in Arabic would be tarbiyyah, which means “cultivation” or “growth.” The goal for Muslim parents, as indeed for most parents, is to cultivate their children so that they grow into self-disciplined, independent people one day.
The Prophet Muhammad serves as a role model to Muslims in regard to parenthood. It is well documented that he was never harsh with anyone, especially children. He would give children responsibilities within their limits, encourage them, and overlook their shortcomings. When giving advice, he would ask a child, “What do you think of this?” and allow the child to come up with possible solutions to his or her own problems. Most important, he never ridiculed, humiliated, yelled at, or struck a child.
