The process of accepting your child's diabetes diagnosis almost mirrors the grief process that comes with death. In a very real way, you are dealing with a loss. Your healthy, carefree child is gone, and in his place is a child who will need constant care and supervision, and about whom you will worry even more. It takes time to accept that change with grace, but it can be done.

Parents tend to react in the beginning in two distinct ways (and again, mirroring the two ways many react to a death or another crisis). They stand strong at the beginning and fall apart later on, or they collapse at the start and then regroup and become stronger. Either way, parents, for the most part, feel alone in the beginning.

Because as much as parents would love the world to understand Type 1 and its nuances from the get-go, most parents were ignorant as well before diagnosis day. So coming home from the hospital expecting the world to be knowledgeable isn't realistic. That expectation can leave a parent feeling alienated and alone.

Bad Support

As well intentioned as it may seem, there absolutely is bad support. It comes in the form of the friend or neighbor who tells you all about her aunt who lost both legs to diabetes but still enjoyed an active knitting career, or the man in the market who reminds you that “as long as you stay away from refined sugars,” your child should be fine. Bad support comes from so-called medical experts who suggest you try acupuncture instead of insulin, or who know of a special doctor who has gotten kids “off insulin for good.” It's hard to stomach these lines, and many parents want to lash out, so it's a good idea to be prepared. Expect strange comments and try to remember that you once knew nothing about diabetes (even if you were smart enough to keep it to yourself).

Well Intentioned, but Not Good Support

Bad support can also come from the overzealous parent of another child with diabetes. Like militant breastfeeding mothers who insist that every mother must do the same, there are diabetes parents out there who absolutely feel their way is the only way. This can be confusing to a parent new to diabetes. They may tell you that your child's care is substandard; or that you should be working toward raising funds for a cure from day one. They may say you should not be using the insulin your doctor has told you to use. In these cases, go with your gut. Be polite and thankful, but trust your instincts with your child. If something someone says does not feel right to you, it probably isn't.

The best thing to do in these cases is to remember that these people are truly well intentioned, but that does not mean they will help you in the way you need help. Stick to your medical team's advice and ward off anything that seems questionable with a polite thank-you.

Good Support

Good support comes in so many forms, and in many cases, your friends will be looking for ways to help you. Good support is the parent of a child with diabetes who offers to be there for you. In this new world, nothing can better help you navigate your course than someone well into the trip.

From friends not familiar with diabetes, good support comes in the same forms it comes during any crisis. If friends ask, suggest they cook some meals that you can store, and ask them to figure out and write down the carb count per serving.

Good friends offer to attend classes to learn what diabetes is and what it means to a child's life. They know, too, that sometimes, they simply cannot do anything more than let you know they care. There is nothing more touching to a parent than the friend who truly understands what childhood diabetes is.