Using Your Support
As Forrest Gump said about life, “Support is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get.” In most every case with well-established groups like the JDRF, you should find a well-run program with interesting and cooperative parents. But from time to time, you might stumble across some problems. Knowing what to expect from support, how to use it, and how react to it helps parents feel good about reaching out and, in the end, makes it more worthwhile.
The Well-Meaning Parent
Let's say there's another child with diabetes in your neighborhood or school. If this is the case, chances are you're going to hear from that parent. Give her a chance, listen to what she says, and let her allow you to vent.
Alert!
There's a time and a place for everything and your first support experience is not a time to hear stories of gloom and doom. If you happen to stumble upon a parent with tales of woe, tell him you're not ready for that yet. If he doesn't stop, say goodbye.
The first thing parents always want to do is share diagnosis stories; your dx story will be your icebreaker until there is a cure, and hearing others' stories is somehow soothing. From there, gauge if the parent is someone you connect with: Does she seem kind enough not to push her own views on you? Was he helpful but not pushy? If they seem to be too pushy, thank them for their visit, and let them know you'll reach out to them when and if you need them. If you connect, be glad; this could be your new best friend for a while.
The Kind Stranger
If your new support comes via a support group or a connection from an organization, expect them to care about you, your child, and your current needs, not about supporting their organization. The first weeks and months are not always the best time to get involved in fundraising for a cure (see Chapter 20 for when and how to get involved). If the group or the parent focuses on your current needs and provides advice on dealing with what you are learning at this point, you've found a good thing.
Essential
If there is no support at all for you in any of these ways, ask your school nurse to consider holding a “meet and greet” night for all parents of kids with diabetes in your town. You can take the ball and run from there.
Beware the know-it-all. This is the parent whose child always has perfect numbers and never complains. He is merely a legend in his own mind. Rather, if you can, look for a buddy or two: people you strongly connect with because of work schedules, your children's ages, or where you live. Form your own group within a group and use one another for regular support.
