Diagnosis time can be one of the most emotionally challenging times for parents, children, relatives, and even friends. An incurable disease that demands a lifetime of constant care is no easy pill to swallow, particularly when it's your child who has it. Everyone reacts in his own way, but there are common threads and ways of coping.

Parental Guilt

Parents or caregivers can feel guilty at this time, for more than just not seeing the symptoms early enough (because in most cases, almost everyone thinks they took too long). Your medical team should tell you, but if they don't, be assured: You did nothing as a parent to cause this disease, and there was nothing you could do to avoid it.

Because the majority of people with diabetes have Type 2, this disease is often thought to be controllable or even avoidable. Type 1 diabetes is neither. Once that trigger clicked and your child's immune system decided to wreak havoc on her insulin-producing cells, you could not stop it from happening.

Sometimes parents of adopted children will question if there was something in their medical background that could have forewarned them about the diagnosis. The simple answer is no. While children and other relatives of people with Type 1 run a slightly higher risk of developing diabetes, it is still uncommon enough for the disease to be shared by relatives that it is not considered familial.

In other words, medical history or not, you most likely did not give your child diabetes. Ironically, one of the most common questions you'll be asked by friends and even strangers is, “Who gave it to him? You or your wife?” The answer, you can say with all confidence, is neither one. It takes a combination of genetics and environment to cause Type 1 diabetes, and as of yet, no one has discovered what that environmental trigger is.

Feeding your child differently would not have changed his fate either. Too much sugar does not cause diabetes. Some studies have looked at the introduction of cow's milk into a child's diet and the onset of diabetes, but there is no clinical proof that any one thing is a cause.

Parental Fear

Most parents are just plain afraid as well—afraid to give that first shot, afraid to be responsible for their child's well-being, afraid of the future. This is normal, and you should talk about it with your medical team.

The best weapon you'll have to battle your very appropriate parental fear is knowledge. Ask your team about blood sugars and what is safe and unsafe and what is a reason to panic. Talk to them about complications and how the world has changed for the better when it comes to offsetting them and treating them if they do come along. It's going to be vital for you, as a parent, to take your fear, deal with it, and work your way toward understanding and confidence. Long-term parental fear can hurt a child's self-esteem and build panic issues in children as well. Yes, diabetes is scary, but it's nothing you cannot deal with once you have support, education, and a good medical team.

Kids' Guilt and Fear

It will be important, too, to let your child know he did nothing wrong to end up in this position, and that he should always feel comfortable voicing his fears to you. Have a discussion, with the hospital social worker present, about what your child is thinking and feeling. Each age has unique issues and answers. Be sure to build a relationship with the social worker right there in the hospital so that your child has another adult, an expert, whom he can trust to help him deal with his worries and fears. Your child will need this support now and as the years go by.