Many girls are distressed about putting on so many pounds as they pass through puberty, and many boys become concerned about not having the grand muscles of the athletes and stars they admire. You need to help your tween appreciate her body instead of falling victim to feelings of worthlessness because she doesn't have a figure she considers ideal.

Compulsive Overeating

The first way that babies feel nurtured is by being fed. The stimulation of the lips, tongue, and palate, and the sensation of a full tummy are enjoyable and satisfying. Many parents continue to soothe their children's upsets by offering them food and drinks. They continue to reach for food to restore a sense of well-being instead of reaching out for a hug, putting on some soothing music, taking a time-out, talking to a parent or friend about whatever is bothering them, or finding another way to relax. The primary complication of compulsive overeating is obesity. Besides the social stigma, the physical complications of obesity include diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, osteoarthritis, and gall bladder disease.

Combating Obesity

Dieting alone is not likely to combat obesity because children gain back the weight they lost as soon as the diet ends. The better way is find a diet and exercise program your child can follow long-term. To eliminate nervous eating, reduce the stress to which your child is subjected. Learn to recognize signs of tension, point them out to your child, and help your child find alternative ways to relax and nurture herself that don't involve food. Exercise may not feel nurturing at the time, but it is a proven way to relieve stress.

If your child really wants to do something about her appearance, take her to a nutritionist to work out a diet and exercise plan that will work long-term rather than attempting a short-term diet. Avoid expressing concerns about your own weight so your child doesn't absorb your preoccupation, and never tease your youngster or make comments about his body that are even mildly disparaging. Record numbers of tweens of both sexes are suffering from eating disorders.

Anorexia Nervosa

Anorexia has a high mortality rate because sufferers can literally starve themselves to death, continuing to perceive themselves as fat even when their hair is falling out from severe malnutrition and they look like concentration camp inmates.

To maintain such a rigid restriction of diet (and often compulsive exercising) requires tremendous self-control. Youngsters with overcontrolling parents seem to be especially at risk, as are young models and athletes involved in sports where weight is an important factor (for example, wrestling and gymnastics).

As anorexic girls lose fat, they stop menstruating and their secondary sexual characteristics disappear. Hence, girls who have been sexually abused and those with serious conflicts about growing up are also at risk for developing an eating disorder.

In general, girls who have been criticized for being heavy or praised for losing a bit of weight are at risk. They are already under tremendous pressure from peers and from the images of beauty presented on TV and in magazines, so be careful what you say about your pubescent daughter's weight gain. Girls acquire an extra layer of fat during puberty, but instead of being delighted to become a curvaceous woman, many are distressed about their altered appearance.

Bulimia Nervosa

Tweens suffering from bulimia alternate between consuming huge quantities of food and purging their systems to get rid of it, either by vomiting or taking laxatives. Like anorexics, victims think about food obsessively and deal with it compulsively; often they cannot stop eating. Bulimic children may be of average weight, and since they go to great lengths to hide their activities because they feel ashamed and out of control, many parents don't realize what is happening.