The Power of the Toltec Inventory
Many of the powerful tools of personal transformation on the Toltec path are used to become aware of the programming in the mind's mitote, and change it from fear to love-based. A thorough inventory and recapitulation is the most effective action the warrior can take to insure her freedom. The inventory is the first step, and serves as the basis for the recapitulation described in the next section.
Memories are held in your mind because of their emotional content. If there is no emotional content to an interaction or event, the mind has no reason to hold on to it. Experiences in the past in which you perceived yourself as a victim have the strongest hook in your mind. They are the ones the parasite uses to drag your energy down and keep you distracted from the present. To become aware of those memories with the inventory and release them through recapitulation is a powerful achievement of the Toltec warrior.
Many different healing disciplines, most notably the numerous twelve-step addiction programs, have used personal inventories to access forgotten or denied memories and feelings. Each one is directed to a slightly different goal, but all forms of inventories offer increased awareness and personal transformation.
Beginning the Inventory
The Toltec inventory is a list of virtually every memory in your mind — of every event, person, possession, and place. All the memories your mind is holding become part of the inventory. As you write, memories will arise from the most amazing places in your mind; use all of them, too. The more thorough you are when creating the list, the deeper and more healing your recapitulation can be.
The first step is to make a list of all of the major categories of people, places, and things in your life. Here are some examples of people and places:
Lovers (including first sexual encounter)
Mates
Parents
Brothers and sisters (including not having any)
Relatives (could be separate category for each)
Friends
Roommates
Places you have lived
Schools you attended
Jobs
Churches, spiritual groups, cults, fraternities/sororities, gangs you have belonged to
Jails or prisons you have been in; probation officers
As you begin to write these lists, let your memories emerge, and add them as you go. You will also want to include possessions, traumas to your physical body, and mistakes your judge says you have made. Some examples would be:
Cars, motorcycles, tractors, boats, bicycles, and other vehicles you have owned
Money lost, inheritances squandered, investment mistakes
Lawsuits
Accidents
Abortions
Surgeries (especially lost body parts)
Robberies, muggings, violent crimes
Physical or emotional injuries you have caused others
When you have completed a list using the major topics suggested here, you will begin to expand on each one. Note that any time you were a perpetrator against someone else, your judge will make you wrong, thus making you a victim of the judgment. The memory will be held by the emotions caused by your internal victimization.
Expanding the Inventory
Once you have established the major categories suggested in the list, you will begin to expand each of the categories in a new list. For example, if you are working with “friends,” you will create a list of all of your friends — beginning with the most current, and going back to the first ones you can remember in your life. Do the same with “jobs,” “mates,” and each category on your first list. You will probably remember people you have not thought about for many years.
There is more: Begin another new list, using the first person on your “friends” or other list, and break down the relationship with that person into important time periods of the friendship. Always start with the present, and work back to the beginning. Do this with each person or event on each list. Examples of time periods with a friend might be: “Yesterday, when we had lunch”; “The month she didn't call me”; “First great six months.”
Many new warriors read the instructions for the Toltec inventory and pretend they cannot understand it, or their parasite convinces them that they do not have the time or energy for such an undertaking. If you are passionate about your freedom, now is the time to make a commitment to yourself. Take action!
There is one more list. Look at the list of time periods, and starting with the most recent, such as “Yesterday, when we had lunch,” let your mind scan back while you feel for any emotional reactions in your body. Make a note of any moments when a communication (or lack of same) caused hurt, irritation, sadness, anger, or other emotion. Write down a word or two to remind yourself of the incident and feeling. Do the same for each previous time period, on each list. These feelings are what you will recapitulate when you are ready.
