An apprentice decided that he should meditate for one hour every morning as part of his spiritual work. He was excited, because he knew meditation would help him become a more loving and peaceful person (which meant, of course, that he would be more loved and accepted in his new spiritual community). After doing well for the first week, he overslept one morning and had to rush to work without meditating. All day he was agitated. He knew he would not have time to meditate when he got home, and was angry for failing to keep his agreement with himself. He decided that he would have to meditate for two hours the next morning, in order to make up for his failure.

When the apprentice was setting his alarm an hour earlier for the next morning, he began to resent the pressure. He was not getting enough sleep, and now he was going to have to get up in the cold and dark, just to sit in meditation. He began to doubt his ability to keep the new schedule, and even started doubting the value of meditating. He fell asleep while trying to decide what to do, and was nearly late for work the next morning. By the time he got home, he was convinced that meditating was a waste of time, and probably wouldn't help him anyway. The next day, he dropped out of his new spiritual group.

The Parasite Talks to Itself

The judge (parasite) made the rule that the apprentice should meditate. The victim child (parasite) created the motivation of love and acceptance. The judge (parasite) made the apprentice wrong for breaking the rules, and then punished his failure with self-anger and the penance of a two-hour meditation. The rebel (parasite) blocked the decision about getting up two hours early, and finally the victim child (parasite) was so hurt and discouraged that nothing ever worked out right that he gave up the whole idea.

Do you see the parasite talking to the parasite? It actually never wanted the apprentice to do anything that might help him become free of its influence and control. So it ran the apprentice in little circles, all dedicated to his “spiritual work.” Pushing a human to be perfect on a spiritual path is one of the best tricks of the parasite, because everyone agrees that they and everyone else should be more spiritual. The goal of perfection is unattainable, so the parasite knows his program of sabotage is safe.

The Parasite Lies

The parasite is a big liar. Remember that the judge is the main voice of the parasite, and the judge is always lying. Everything he says about what you “should” have done or been is a lie, because you can only be yourself as you are.

Imagine that you realize that you are going to be late for an important appointment, perhaps a job interview or an exciting date. If you look at the clock and say, “I am going to be late,” that is simply the truth. The parasite will look at the same clock and say, “You are going to be late because you are stupid and don't pay attention. You should have known how long it would take to get ready. Now the person is going to be mad at you, and you will probably not get the job (or romance). Nobody will ever like you, and you will probably just get old and die alone.”

With that mitote in your mind, you drive to the appointment in a fearful rush, arrive filled with anxiety, rushed apologies, and perhaps excuses about the bad traffic. The person waiting for you might not have noticed the time, or was happy for the quiet time while he or she waited. You would have no way of knowing, because you would be focused inward on the parasite's mitote, and not present in the moment. If the job interview or romantic lunch does not go well, the parasite will blame it on you. Your gift of power on the Toltec path is to learn to blame it on the parasite — the true villain in your mind.