The Resistance of the Parasite
When a child experiences her emotions of joy, anger, sadness, hurt, excitement, fear, or the multitude of other ways she might express herself, and those feelings are rejected, ignored, punished, or worse, she is hurt. When it happens repeatedly, along with the shame and embarrassment she feels, she learns to believe it is her fault. In fact, she is often told it is her fault: “I wouldn't be so angry if you weren't so careless.”
Parents in the old dream believe that their emotional reactions to their children are the children's fault. And they insist their children believe the same lie. Innocent young humans are punished for their spontaneous emotional responses to their lives. Many children learn that if they are seen, they will be hurt — so they learn to hide, either physically or emotionally. Young children cannot psychologically tolerate rejection for being who they are, so they learn to be someone else.
The Parasite Wants to Take Over
The parasite learns the strategies it needs to feel safe. It does its best to protect the child from the dangers of rejection and other punishment (see Chapters 7 to 9). All of the knowledge about good and bad, right and wrong, and how to get it right for the punishers forms a powerful resource of protection in the human mind. The parasite knows that when a new warrior declares her desire to be free, it must swing into action and sabotage the warrior's madness.
Children are hurt by many parental actions besides yelling and hitting. A mother might be having fun with a small child, then get a phone call that distresses her, and not return to their play. The child is disappointed, and if the mother is then sharp with her, she will take it personally.
The parasite knows without doubt that if the warrior manifests her desire to be big, alive, creative, and playful, and expresses her feelings with wild abandon, she will be in danger of rejection and hurt. The parasite will use all of its strategies and cunning to resist the very thing it has worked a life-time to avoid. It must protect against the hurt that it knows will come if the warrior reclaims her personal power.
The Warrior Uses Love and Acceptance
The warrior knows that more judgment and rejection will not stop the parasite from “protecting” her. She has learned the healing power of love and acceptance, and she has claimed enough of her power that she can now hold the parasite in an embrace of love just as it is. She understands its history, and she has compassion for its fear. The warrior can also acknowledge the power of the parasite, while quietly claiming her own. She knows her power comes from love, which will ultimately heal the parasite's fear.
The parasite's resistance will slowly melt away when it sees that the warrior is ready to take over as the protector. The parasite was born out of a need to protect the young human from hurt of all kinds. Now the warrior says, “I have enough self-love, my ally is strong, my body has matured, and now I am ready and able to protect myself.”