Passing On Your Domestication to Others
The beliefs and agreements that constitute your domestication have been passed down through many generations. As the human dream matures and changes, the particulars of the dream and domestication change, but many elements will stay the same — especially the presence of the judge. Nationality, community, religion, and other factors described previously support the bigger dream. For example, people living in parts of the United States known as the “Bible belt” will support each other to maintain a common set of beliefs about church, family, and God. Those beliefs have been passed down to the parents, and will be passed to their children.
In a motorcycle gang, members also support each other to maintain the belief systems that identify who belongs to the gang. Anyone who behaves or dresses outside of the dream will be harassed into conforming or banished from the group. This kind of social domestication is common in all groups, teams, professions, and institutions.
In families, you may have noticed big brother or sister telling a younger sibling “Don't do that; Mommy will get mad.” As soon as the little ones can, they start helping to domesticate other little ones. Once they learn the rules, they are ready to pass them on to whoever will believe them. They become the judges, keeping others in line with the rules.
Dress codes at work and school are a form of domestication into conformity. Gang colors are another. These rules define who belongs to a group and who does not. Each group designates one or more people whose job it is to enforce the rules, and mete out punishments for failure to comply.
It is especially interesting to observe the presence of the judge and domestication in personal relationships of all kinds. In romantic relationships people often send messages to each other about how they need to be in order to be part of the love or marriage unit. A wife might tell her husband, “I can't believe you are going to the party dressed like that!” She is domesticating him. He might fight back with, “If you embarrass me again by drinking too much tonight, it is the last party I am going to with you!” He is domesticating her, threatening that her behavior will cause him to withdraw his attention and presence.
Remember, the worst punishment is expulsion or withdrawal — to withhold the attention that is so vital to the development of a child, and also essential to the well-being of adults. This is the penalty the outer or inner judge metes out when he believes you have broken the rules.
