More Quality Time?
Forget it, because some experts are now saying that
Turn off the phone. At meals, try turning the answering machine on and the cell phone off. Ensure that you have uninterrupted time to interact each day. Turn off the TV, too, especially if no one is watching it. By hitting the off switch, parents eliminate the wall of noise separating toddlers from other family members. In fact, turn off the TV even if someone is watching. It's better to sacrifice shows than your toddler. It's better to be behind on the news than behind on your toddler's development. Be a good role model and find another way to relax, such as reading.
Sleep together. Sharing the family bed helps strengthen attachment and eliminates negative bedtime struggles that can eat up so much time (see Chapter 10, “Sleepy Time,” for more on sharing beds).
Cook together. Inviting toddlers to play on the kitchen floor while parents are preparing the meals, instead of sending them to another room to play, puts youngsters where they belong: in the heart of the family. If parents can talk to their youngster while waiting for the water to boil and pause occasionally while stirring the eggs to look at those blocks she's stacking, that's about as engaged as toddlers need parents to be during play. Just learn to walk carefully as you make your way from counter to table so as not to trip over a toy or (heaven forbid!) your child.
Clean the house and do yard work together. Give your toddler a few drops of water in her pail and a sponge to use when you're washing the floor. Attach a broom handle to a box to make a kiddie broom or lawnmower.
Run errands together. Accept that a toddler shopping buddy will slow you down. Interact amicably while cruising the grocery store aisles. Notice that while most of the parents are tangling with their troublesome two-year-old, some are getting along well — because they're talking nonstop and enlisting the toddler's help at every turn.
Turn off the car radio. Little wigglers tolerate the confinement better and benefit from the time to and from day care if parents talk and sing to them in the car. Outings to the zoo and carnival are great, but it's more important to relate well to each other on an everyday basis.
If you can't expand the quantity of time you spend with your child, improve the quality by carving out a twenty-minute slot to spend with your little one during which you studiously avoid teaching, disciplining, reprimanding, and controlling. Stick to singing, reading, tickling, and laughing!
