Sexual Massage

Once you have completed your full-body sensual massage, you may want to move on to the type of massage specifically designed for sexual pleasure. These massages may be used as a prelude to intercourse, but are often done as a separate sexual activity, for the pleasure of a sexual massage is considered by many to be satisfying whether or not intercourse follows.

Lingam Massage: Just for Him

Before discussing the topic of lingam massage, it would probably be a good idea to explain exactly what is meant by the term lingam. Although its more broad definition refers to a stylized phallic object used in worship, in Tantric terminology it is often used as an anatomical term to refer to the penis. The purpose of lingam massage is not orgasm, although it is perfectly welcome should it happen. The purpose is to heighten sexual awareness and allow your man to let himself feel sensations that he may not have felt before. The goal is to let him relax and surrender himself to sexual and intimate pleasure. Through lingam massage, he will come into touch with his feminine side, his softer, receptive side.

Place a small amount of oil on the shaft of your partner's penis and on his testicles. Very gently massage the testicles. Be sure to be gentle; this is a very sensitive area. Massage around and above the lingam, up to the pubic bone. Now move to the perineum, found between the testicles and the anus. Then begin to massage the shaft. Take your time here, experimenting with varying speeds and pressure. Gently take hold of the shaft with your right hand. Lightly squeezing, move your hand up the shaft and slide off. Now repeat with your left hand. Continue: right, left, right, left. Now do the same, only beginning with the head and moving down the shaft.

Place one hand at the base of the shaft. With the other, massage around and up the lingam, finishing by cupping the head. Repeat this several times. Men generally tend to like stronger, more forceful strokes than women do, so don't be afraid to be a bit aggressive. You should also keep him guessing by using a variety of movements and speeds, which will heighten the exciting sensation.

Men tend to be very visual creatures who become aroused by the sight of sex — or anything sexually exciting. To give your man an extra thrill, position him so he can watch as you give him this special massage.

To add extra excitement to your man's massage, do not limit yourself to using only your hands. Allow your hair to sweep across parts of his body, and use your breasts to stimulate one area while your hands concentrate on another.

Next stop: sacred spot. This may be an intense moment in the lingam massage. Be sure to be attentive to your partner's needs and sensations. Between the testicles and the anus, you will find a small, pea-sized spot. This is the sacred spot. Delicately press inward. He will feel the pressure deep within, which may not be very comfortable at first. With time and massage, this area will grow suppler and eventually deepen orgasms and increase control over ejaculation. Here's a tip to make the experience more enjoyable: Massage the lingam with one hand while massaging the sacred spot with the other.

Because the point of Tantric massage is not orgasm, if you feel he is about to ejaculate, ease off. Bring him to the brink and then let off. You may even try putting light pressure on the sacred spot when you feel he is near orgasm. Be aware, though, that doing this can bring strong emotions to the surface.

Throughout the lingam massage, he may become hard and then soft and maybe, or maybe not, hard again. This is normal and desirable in Tantric massage. You want to take him on a journey of intense highs and sensual lows. This will help him learn to be receptive and more in tune with his sexual emotions.

When you feel it is appropriate to end the massage, make sure he is comfortable and warm and let him rest for at least a few minutes.

Yoni Massage: Just for Her

The yoni massage allows your woman to relax and allow herself to enter into an excited state. So often in relationships the woman feels as though foreplay is lacking. She wishes for something more than intercourse. The yoni massage makes her feel caressed, adored, and secure, granting her the freedom and space to slip into arousal.

She will lie down as described in the lingam massage. Just as with the man, she will begin deep breathing. You will serve as her coach throughout the massage, assuring that she continues to breathe fully and deeply.

Women need to be touched and aroused before having their genitals touched. To relax her and get her ready for her yoni massage, gently caress her all over her body. Use a light touch, but not so light you tickle her. Sweep your hands over breasts, shoulders, and neck, all erotic places on a woman's body. Trace her face with your little finger and rub her scalp. When you feel she is relaxed and ready, begin the yoni massage.

Pour enough massage oil on the top of the yoni to let it drip down her outer lips and cover the outside. Begin by massaging around the yoni, on the outer lips and up to the pelvis bone. Take it slow and be sure to guide her breathing.

Take each outer lip between your fingers and gently squeeze, running your fingers up and down the outer lip. Now do the same for the inner lips.

Now we move on to the clitoris. The most sensitive part of the woman's body, the clitoris's only function is to provide pleasure. Gently stroke the clitoris in circular motions, first clockwise and then counterclockwise. Remember that the purpose of this massage is not to reach orgasm. Simply continue the massage.

Now, using your right hand, insert your middle finger into the yoni. Gently feel around the inside. Vary the speed and pressure with which you do so. Enjoy the textures and sensations.

The next step is to locate her sacred spot. With your palm toward the ceiling, move your middle finger toward you. Using this motion, you can find the G-spot, located just under the pelvic bone and behind the clitoris. It is a spongy, tissue area about the size of a quarter. Experiment with speed, pressure, and strokes. Try circles, back and forth motions, or insert your ring finger as well. Be sure to keep looking in each other's eyes and continue deep breathing.

If you see that she is enjoying the massage, you can try placing your thumb on the clitoris and massaging the anus with the pinky. Tantra tells us that when this technique is used, “you are holding one of the mysteries of the universe in your hand.”

Feel free to use your other hand to massage other parts of her body. The thumb is the best way to massage her clitoris. The sensations can be heightened by placing the rest of your hand on her mound and massaging it at the same time. Massaging the yoni with both hands, one inside and one outside, creates intense sensations, both physical as well as emotional. Keep her breathing regulated and look into her eyes.

She may, or may not, have an orgasm or even various orgasms. If this happens, be sure to maintain eye contact and continue coaching her breathing. It can be an intense experience.

When you feel that you have finished and that she is satisfied with the massage, slowly and gently remove your hands. Allow her to rest and bask in the effects of the yoni massage. Do not leave her alone. Holding her and caressing her can be tender ways to end the massage.

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