Increasing Libido
For many women, the biggest major roadblock to sexual pleasure is a lagging libido. Many women complain that they often just do not feel “in the mood.” This is common, especially for today's busy woman, who is often juggling a career, kids, partner, and many other responsibilities. Understandably so, the woman may feel so stressed or tired that sex is the last thing on her mind.
A low sex drive is a common problem in American women. The American Medical Association has estimated that several million U.S. women suffer from what doctors prefer to call “female sexual arousal disorder,” or “FSAD.” That's a fancy way of saying their libido is in need of life support.
The first step to solving this problem is to be a helpful and supportive partner. Help around the house, be an active co-parent, and do whatever else you can to help shoulder the responsibilities and take a little bit of stress off her mind. Encourage her to relax and take some time to de-stress at the end of the day. If necessary, have the grandparents take the kids for the night (or hire a sitter and whisk your woman off to some peaceful getaway). Just getting some rest and escaping from the constant pressures of everyday life can be a big libido boost for many women.
Are there other causes for a low sex drive besides stress?
Many medical conditions can affect your sex drive — including quite a few that are easily fixed. For women, hormonal imbalances are a common culprit. If you make an active effort to reduce your daily stress and your libido is still lacking, it may be time to consult a doctor. In addition, if you are taking any medications, read the side effects carefully, as this is a common source of sexual problems.
If the libido still is not up to par, it can be helpful to engage in some slow foreplay, without any expectations that intercourse will follow. Often, eliminating this pressure to perform will help the woman relax, and hopefully the foreplay will leave her so aroused that she will in fact feel the urge to make love.
You can also try some of the “libido creams” and other sexual products designed to arouse a woman and stimulate her libido. However, you should use these with caution. Try a very small amount at first, until you can evaluate how they work. Some women find these products to be annoying or find that they cause a sensation that is too intense for sensitive areas.
If you suspect that some past trauma or emotional problems are contributing to your low sex drive, a consultation with a therapist or psychologist might prove very helpful.
