Video Reluctance
Many people are reluctant to watch adult videos for the first time, for a variety of reasons. For many, it goes back to the same old story — they were taught as children that sex (and anything related to it) is bad or dirty. And for those who were taught that even thinking about sex is bad, then surely watching other people have sex must be 100 times worse. Others, especially women, may have always incorrectly assumed that adult movies were strictly for horny old men or perverts.
You Are Not Alone
It can be helpful, if you are reluctant to explore the area of adult films, to realize that lots of “normal” people enjoy these types of movies. You do not have to be weird or sex-crazed to like adult movies, and buying them does not make you unusual or freaky.
In a recent survey conducted by MSNBC, 37 percent of respondents said they had watched adult movies within the past year in order to help add excitement to their sex lives. Surprisingly, 14 percent said they had taken this a step further and made a tape of their own sexual activities.
Lots of people, including an increasing number of women — from housewives to grandmothers — have become fans of adult films, especially now that it has become so easy to rent or buy them.
You might be surprised to discover that many of your friends and neighbors — yes, even the ones who seem so quiet and reserved — enjoy a racy video on a regular basis. Try broaching the subject in a roundabout way the next time you are enjoying a relaxed get-together with a few close friends. Chances are, a few of them will share their own experiences, if possibly a bit reluctantly at first.
For added convenience and financial savings, you can even buy Tantric and/or mainstream adult DVDs and books that are sold together, sometimes with a bottle of massage oil or some other little surprise thrown in to make the package complete. Check major online adult retailers like Adam & Eve (
Self-Consciousness and Body Issues
Some people — especially women — are reluctant to watch adult videos because they fear they will look drab (or fat, old, etc.) when compared to the hot porn stars featured in these videos. They may worry that their partner will wish he were with the knockout in the movie instead.
If you are skittish about watching adult films for the first time in front of your partner, try watching the film by yourself first. This way you won't feel self-conscious about your partner watching your reactions — plus, you can pause the tape at an exciting part to show your partner when the mood is right.
A good way to avoid the self-consciousness issue? Look for amateur tapes, which are available in many adult stores and at lots of online venues. As the name implies, these tapes features scenes involving nonprofessional “stars” — often everyday couples who look like you or people you know. These real people — like all real people — come in all shapes, sizes, and appearances. This can have many positive results for you as a viewer. For one thing, you will get a realistic view of what most people's bodies actually look like — as opposed to the unrealistic porn star body, which has almost always been enhanced by plastic surgery and various other procedures (and further assisted by special lighting and fancy camera tricks). This can be a great reality check — “hey, she has cellulite, too!” — and perhaps even an ego boost — “Wow, my breasts are much perkier than those, and she's younger than me.”
More importantly, you are much less likely to feel self-conscious and worry that you will suffer in comparison to the people in these films. You may also learn some new tricks by observing how real people — in the midst of real passion, not the fake on-screen kind — make love in new and exciting ways.
