Using These Materials to Learn
Without a doubt, adult films (as well as books and other materials) can be fun and pleasurable to watch, purely from an entertainment standpoint. And you are certainly free to watch as many videos as you like, as often as you like, just for the fun of it. However, from a standpoint of enriching your special relationship with a Tantric approach, you should also view these videos as educational tools.
Your Own In-House Instructor
It can be helpful, especially if you are nervous or embarrassed about watching adult videos, to think of this as an educational experience. This is a homework assignment, part of your education in pursuit of a degree in better sex. Just because the material is not presented in a clinical or boring way does not mean it isn't part of an important learning experience. Think of the people in the video as your own personal sex instructors. Only instead of presenting some long, boring lecture, they are giving you a hands-on (excuse the pun) demonstration on a topic of great personal importance to you.
The video stars are showing you exactly what to do and how to do it. They can also give clues as to how difficult or uncomfortable a certain position may be. Perhaps most importantly, they will show you how to worship your partner's body in exactly the right way, which will be sure to drive them wild.
It is important to consider adult books and videos and other materials as instructional guides that help improve and enhance your private relationship with your partner, but never distract from it. Be careful not to become so engrossed in the tapes that your partner feels ignored or neglected. Even the best film is no substitute for a good partner.
Helping Express Your Dislikes
Videos can be useful in helping you show your partner what you like — and, perhaps more importantly, what you do not like. In fact, this is a perfect way to convey your sexual dislikes to your partner in a neutral setting where there is no risk of hurt feelings. Think about it: If your partner tries something new in bed that you do not particularly care for, it can be tough to express your reaction in a way that does not hurt your partner's feelings. No matter how you couch it, your partner will most likely take your displeasure as a personal criticism, not just a dislike for that particular move or technique.
However, when you are watching a video and you happen to see something that you do not like (and, thus, that you would like to discourage your partner from attempting), you can simply say something to the effect of, “Hmmm … that doesn't seem to be very enjoyable.” Or, “That looks interesting, but it really isn't my cup of tea.” (Of course, to make it extremely obvious that you do not like what you see, you can always hit the eject button or change the channel.)
This way, you get your point across without any danger of hurting your partner's feelings or appearing critical of his efforts.
