If you've ever trained a dog, you probably know about positive reinforcement training because it is what most animal trainers use today. People (and dogs) do things for two reasons:

• To benefit or be rewarded

• To avoid something negative

The first reason is much more compelling and positive. You see a piece of chocolate cake. You know you shouldn't eat it because you could gain weight (negative reinforcement), but you want to eat it because it tastes good (positive reinforcement). Which is more fun, eating it or not eating it?

If you can frame your stress management in terms of positive reinforcement (not to mention your other habits and the life changes you are trying to make), you are much more likely to be successful. Even if you are successful with negative reinforcement — you didn't eat the cake — it won't be as enjoyable, and you may be less likely to stick with it. What if not eating the cake was rewarded with a stroll through the park on a nice day or with an afternoon matinee? That's more inspiring, isn't it, than the mere promise of not gaining weight?

But who has time to go see a movie for every good behavior? Your rewards needn't be so time-consuming. They need only be rewards. No, you probably don't do flips for dog biscuits, but that doesn't mean you don't like treats. Make a list of your personal “people treats,” and every time you think you've got a tough battle ahead in which you know you'll encounter stress, promise yourself a treat from your list. You'll get through it on your best behavior, and the promise of a reward will help to keep you thinking positive, feeling relaxed, and enjoying the “training session”! That's a good girl! That's a good boy!

Your personal treat list might look something like this, but, of course, these are just suggestions to get you started. Your list will be as individual as you are.