Stress During Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Postpartum
Anyone who is pregnant can probably provide a long list of particular stressors, from first trimester morning sickness to third trimester swollen ankles. This is in addition to the emotional stress of preparing to add a new little person to the family and all the changes that brings about in the life of an individual, the life of a relationship, and the life of a family.
Childbirth is stressful in many ways. It hurts, for one thing! Your body is going through an amazing but highly stressful process. And your mind is adjusting to the drama of the situation in any number of ways.
The postpartum period is fraught with environmental as well as hormonal adjustments. Postpartum depression can make even the simple chores of daily life seem impossible.
Managing your stress is even more important during this intense transitional period of life because when you are pregnant, you are “stressing for two.” While any of the techniques in this book are helpful during pregnancy, good health and self-care are crucial. When you are pregnant, it is essential to do the following:
Drink eight glasses of water each day.
Get enough sleep.
Eat healthy, nutrient-dense food.
Get some moderate exercise on most days of the week (unless your doctor recommends otherwise).
Meditate or practice other relaxation techniques.
Stop your bad health habits such as smoking and drinking. Get help if necessary.
If you don't have any support, find some and find some fast. You aren't without options. Most communities have organized support groups for single mothers, or other kinds of community activities through which you could make some friends. Some people who find themselves pregnant and without support decide to move closer to family or helpful friends.
Also important during pregnancy is to have support from your partner and/or friends and family. The worry and anxiety that comes with pregnancy will be much less intense if you know you have others to help you. Get support and don't be afraid to ask for what you need. After all, you are doing it for your baby.
Whatever your situation, don't try to do it alone. You might be able to do it, but the stress will be overwhelming, and that isn't good for your baby. Even if you feel able to deal with your situation now, you may feel different about it when the baby comes and you are overwhelmed with hormonal changes. Helping yourself helps your baby.
Managing the stress of childbirth can be an organized event. Classes in the Lamaze or Bradley methods and other techniques for easing childbirth are widely available. Midwives and doulas can ease the stress and fear of childbirth by being present at the birth to assist and offer a voice of calm and rationality. While the birthing partner should also be present to offer additional support, birthing partners often feel pretty stressed themselves and aren't always much help.
Having a birthing plan in place before you go into labor is also a great way to ease the laboring mother's mind. Write down how you would like things to go, including how you feel about pain medication (allow for a change of mind on this one, just in case), what you would like to be able to do during labor (listen to music, take a shower, have friends or family present), whether you approve the use of a video camera during delivery, and anything else you consider a priority.
Birthing partners can help to ease the stress of the laboring mother with some specific strategies. Have your partner look at the following list, memorize it, and be ready to put it to use.
10 Ways to Ease the Stress of a Laboring Mother
Follow her lead. If she wants you, be there. If she doesn't want you, take a break. Don't be offended.
Offer to massage her shoulders, neck, scalp, or feet. If she doesn't want it or suddenly wants you to stop, stop. Don't be offended.
Stay calm. Practice deep breathing along with her. It will help you both.
Tell her how great she is doing.
Don't act worried.
Hold her hand and try not to complain when she squeezes it really hard.
Redirect her to her point of focus during contractions, unless she tells you to stop.
Be her gofer. Get magazines. Change the music. Spoon out the ice chips. Keep the relatives informed.
Be her advocate. If doctors or nurses are being unreasonable or doing things that are upsetting her or that go against her birthing plan, be assertive (not obnoxious) and insist that the mother's wishes be followed (unless it is a case of the mother's or baby's health, in which case the doctors know best!).
Stay mindful. You'll want to remember this experience, and chances are, there will be parts of the experience the mother doesn't remember. You can fill her in!
Postpartum
The postpartum period is marked by drastic hormonal fluctuations that can leave you feeling like an emotional wreck. Irritability, sadness, intense joy, intense anger, intense frustration, and sobbing at something as mundane as television commercials are par for the course.
In some cases, severe depression can occur, or even temporary psychosis. Make sure you have people around you to help deal with things when you can't handle them, and, if you have feelings of severe depression, feel unable to care for your new baby, or feel confused by irrational thoughts, please seek professional help. Postpartum depression and associated conditions are usually easy to treat.
Stress management techniques are important during this time, especially self-care techniques and relaxation techniques. You need support and you need to take care of yourself. Postpartum emotional upheavals can happen when you least expect them.
