What to Do if They Are Not Welcoming
If your family is not welcoming of your stepchild then they need a reality check. If you have done something horrendous to your family or if they do not approve of your marriage to your partner, it is not your stepchild's fault. No matter how “bad” a parent or stepparent may be, it is not fair for people to impose their anger or dislike for the adult onto the child. Without your stepchild present, meet with those family members who are not welcoming and find out what it is that is keeping them from embracing your stepchild as part of the family. If they have issues with you or your partner, ask them to keep it that way and leave your stepchild alone, as he is innocent.
If your family continues to give your stepchild the cold shoulder, there is no reason to subject him to their rude behavior. It is not fair to force him to be around them if they are only going to act mean. It is unlikely they will change if you force them into situations with your stepchild.
After speaking with your family they may or may not tell you what is really going on and why they are not more open to your stepchild. If you have brought multiple children into the family only to divorce later on, your family might be worried and not want to develop another relationship with a child they see as being a temporary family member. Even if this is the case, they should bring this up with you and not your stepchild. Putting him in the middle is still not fair, as he is an innocent party. If your family is not willing to accept him because they do not approve of your partner, you might find it is best to keep your distance from them until they are ready to accept your partner with all that he brings to the relationship — including your stepchild. Put the ball in their court, and offer to stay away from family functions until they are ready to accept you and your entire family.
With time, hopefully your family will tire of being standoffish to your stepchild and accept him. It is often difficult for people to accept others into their family if they are not sure of the outcome — which, unfortunately, no one knows. You cannot guarantee that your partner will suddenly endear himself to them or that you will stay married to him forever. What you can remind them is that there is a child in the family who should be judged for who he is and not for his position as stepchild or his relation to your partner. Hopefully, they will recognize this and welcome your stepchild.
