Now that you have met your potential stepchildren, how do you have a relationship with your boyfriend that is separate from, but still inclusive of, the children? First of all, it is important to schedule family time as well as date time. If on Thursday nights, for example, you have time to eat dinner with your boyfriend and his child, consider making Thursdays family oriented. If you do this, try to avoid having date nights on Thursdays.

Also, check out how you feel every week. Are Friday nights tough for you to spend with children because the workweek is so long? If so, have Friday be a child-free night for you — whether that means hanging out with your friends, taking time to yourself, or having a date night.

Reserve days and nights when you have energy to be child friendly for your boyfriend's children. If Sunday afternoons are relaxing for you and your boyfriend's son enjoys family hikes, make Sunday family day.

It is important to take your emotional temperature. If you feel too exhausted on Fridays to deal with kids, then don't! Are you energized and bored most Saturday mornings? Plan something fun with the family. Check in with yourself frequently to determine your peak family times and date times.

After checking your own emotional meter, check your boyfriend's and his children's. You may find that your boyfriend doesn't really want to deal with you on the weekdays since he is busy getting kids ready for school and sports. Or maybe the kids treasure Sunday mornings with Dad and don't really want to share that with you just yet. That is fine; everyone has a different level of patience and tolerance for one another.

In time, you will find a pattern that feels right for everyone. Be patient, as it may take a good amount of trial and error to figure out what works.