Dealing with a spouse, stepchild, and biological children on top of life in general can be frustrating even with the best spouse, children, and circumstances. You are bound to get frustrated at some point. Perhaps the best protection against frustration is admitting you are feeling this emotion and knowing how to manage it.

First, it is important to learn to recognize the signs that indicate you are frustrated. Are you irritable? Losing patience more easily? Grumpy? Stressed? Do you find you are aggravated by the thought of spending time with your stepchild, spouse, or others? Are you annoyed by things that did not previously annoy you? If you notice any of these things occurring, chances are you are feeling frustrated.

The second task is to figure out what it is that is frustrating you. If you seem to be frustrated primarily with a certain person or certain habits that a person exhibits, think about why it is bothering you now. Have your spouse and stepchild made a habit of coming home late? Are their late arrivals keeping you from having time you need or participating in something you enjoy? If there is one person who is getting on your nerves, how is his behavior affecting your life? Does your partner continuously forget to empty the dishwasher, making it difficult to organize the kitchen? Does having to organize it yourself then cut into the time you have for yourself? Once you figure out the source of your frustration and how it is affecting your life, it will be easier to address it.

Now that you know the source of your frustration, you will need to address it. If it is your partner, explain that when you are frustrated with him you struggle to be the stepparent you know you can be. If it is your stepchild who is exhibiting behaviors that frustrate you, you might want to talk to your partner first — especially if your stepchild is quite young. Is your stepchild continuing to exhibit these behaviors because you and your partner are not practicing consistent discipline? Or is your stepchild exhibiting a problem behavior that might need extra attention?

Once these concerns are addressed you might feel a little better. However, you might still experience frustration or annoyance from time to time. Dealing with these emotions can be eased if you practice self-care, take time for yourself, participate in hobbies or activities that you enjoy, and speak up about frustration instead of letting it fester. Not addressing frustration sets the stage for resentment and anger. It is up to you to recognize your feelings, express them, and do something about them. If you don't, how are those around you supposed to know that you are frustrated? Not addressing a situation that is frustrating you will only make situations more stressful. Being open and honest about your feelings will set a positive example for your stepchild and help in future communications. Just remember, if you express your frustrations others might express their frustrations with you. You need to be fair and hear them out!