Mental health is often a rather touchy subject, even in the most functional of families. It is still difficult for many people to see mental health as a health issue and not something to be ashamed of as if it is the person's own doing. As a stepparent, you may find you are far enough removed from your stepchild that you are able to see his mental-health issues through a clearer lens. As an adult who may see the needs of your stepchild, it is important that you advocate for him while also respecting the feelings and positions of his biological parents.

One of the most important things you can do is remove any shame from the idea of mental illness. Even if your stepchild does not have any signs or symptoms of mental illness, taking stigma away from mental illness may help him accept others and any potential issues he may encounter later in life. Similar to talking about sex and drugs, the more open and honest you are about mental disorders, the more comfortable your stepchild may feel about speaking to you about any concerns. If you speak about mental illness without judgment, your stepchild may understand that you won't judge him or any of his friends who may be struggling.

Your stepchild may ask about mental illness if someone in his family or circle of friends is suffering from it or he is experiencing signs or symptoms. If he is experiencing symptoms or someone like a teacher, mentor, coach, or camp counselor has spoken to you, your partner, or the other biological parent about changes they have noticed, it is important to speak with him and support his biological parents in taking him to be seen by his primary care physician. One major obstacle with mental illness is the denial that comes along with it. Your partner may not want to accept that his child may have a mental illness. You may find that his other biological parent is also in denial. If you can encourage one or both of them to at least bring their child to see his regular doctor, you can let the doctor do the talking, and hopefully he will convince them to seek further help for your stepchild.

Signs That Your Teen May Be Depressed

• Sadness or hopelessness

• Anger or irritability

• Withdrawing or isolating from friends and family

• Loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities

• Change in appetite or sleep

• Weight gain or weight loss

• Difficulty concentrating

• Thoughts of suicide

• Feelings of guilt

• Crying spells or tearfulness

Don't do anything behind the biological parents' backs or try to force them to accept that their child may have a mental illness. Instead, encourage them to have the child screened by a mental-health professional just to make sure he is okay. It may be a sensitive situation for you to push, and most parents find it hard to accept a diagnosis of a mental illness. If they have met with a doctor and the doctor has expressed concern, support both of them in accepting their child may have a mental illness and that most mental disorders are treatable. Parents often blame themselves and question what they could have done differently to protect their child from mental illness. If they can instead focus on how to best help and support their child, they may feel more empowered than they would if they dwell on the past.

If your stepchild is diagnosed with a major mental illness such as bipolar disorder, major depressive disorder, schizophrenia, etc. it would be helpful if all parental figures in his life can come together on how to best support him and each other. Keeping everyone informed about mood changes your stepchild may be experiencing, if there are changes in medication, if a therapist is leaving, and if a second opinion is being considered. Your stepchild's therapist may have suggestions on how to best cope with his mental illness and they may include changing your routine in order to best accommodate his needs. If your stepson struggles with changes in routine, the therapist may recommend that he stay with one parent all week and only visit the other on the weekends in order not to disrupt his school schedule. Some suggestions may not work, but you will not know unless you try them.