Similar to making room in your heart, you may recognize that your position as number two on the totem pole becomes more pronounced once you move in with each other. It may also open up more time for you to spend with your significant other, which may counteract the feeling of being in second place. When kids are a factor in a move, you need to think through every decision. Maybe you live in the city but the schools don't have the programs you are seeking, so you move in with your significant other in a town far from the city with a school system that offers the kind of programs you are seeking. This is the kind of situation where you will have to consider what is really best for the child and the family, not what is best for you.

Once your stepchild has moved in with you or is visiting consistently with you as a housemate, you will see new issues arise that you were able to avoid before. Your stepson may be a terrible sleeper or a sleepwalker. You may find that you can no longer take part in your “secret single behaviors” because there is always someone around with whom you are not yet comfortable. It is difficult enough adjusting to a significant other moving in, but having your stepchildren move in makes the adjustment even more difficult.

With your significant other, there is more opportunity for compromise. With your stepchild, you may find you and your significant other are the ones who need to make the sacrifices. For example, if your stepchild is sick, one of you is staying home. If the three of you now share a bathroom, you and your significant other will be the ones to get up earliest to shower in order to leave time for your stepchild. You can still compromise with your significant other on certain things; however, when it comes to a child, you have to put yourself aside and make decisions and adjustments that benefit the child.