As mentioned before, you may have to take the back burner so you don't step on any toes. If you can, put the biological parents in the spotlight, second to your stepchild. Do not use the event to put yourself in the spotlight or to prove that you are a better party planner or that you are willing to spend more money on an event. The purpose of the event is your stepchild. You would not want your stepchild embarrassing you at an event for you; extend the same courtesy to him.

If this is an event that you have planned, you are likely to feel more comfortable since you have more control of the situation. You know who is coming, where they are sitting, and have probably invited people who help make you feel most comfortable. If this is an event the other biological parent planned, you may feel like you are walking into a potentially conflict-ridden situation. If there is animosity between you and the other parent, it would be safe to assume those on his side of the family share his opinions about you. This can make you feel intimidated, nervous, and quite defensive. It is the defensive feeling that can turn into attitude. To avoid acting defensive, try to be open-minded and pleasant. Maybe everyone isn't as open-minded as you and would like to judge you based on actions they observe. If so, don't give them reason to agree with someone who dislikes you; instead, show them that your main concern is your stepchild and his happiness.

If you feel as though you are being attacked in some way or are feeling extremely uncomfortable, it is okay to excuse yourself from the situation or event. Although you may want to point out to those who are attacking you that they are being ridiculous, try to avoid confrontation during the event and save any such discussions for a time that is more appropriate and private. It is also unnecessary to tell your stepchild that his father was being a jerk. You can say that you were not feeling well and leave it at that. If he finds out that you left due to a conflict with his biological parent, you can inform him that you felt it best to leave to keep conflicts at the event to a minimum. Hopefully, everyone can get along for the event or at least ignore each other until it is over.

Get Information Prior to the Event

It is difficult for many people to make small talk or to introduce themselves to people they do not know. To make things more comfortable, ask your stepchild to fill you in on his relatives and other partygoers. Find out peoples' hobbies and changes of circumstances. If your stepchild's Aunt Nancy just got divorced, it is helpful to know ahead of time so you don't ask her how her husband is doing. Knowing hobbies can give you something to talk about if you are stuck next to a relative you don't know well. If your stepchild told you Uncle Bobby likes to skydive, you can bring that up when you bump into him. If you are talking to someone you do not know well, ask about his hobbies or how he knows your stepchild. Try to avoid controversial topics such as politics, religion, or whether or not they like the other biological parent. Making small talk is difficult, but getting out of a heated political discussion is even harder. Equip yourself with a couple of questions or topics that are benign and easy for you to discuss. If you really hate talking, ask as many open-ended questions as you can so the person you are talking to is the one doing the most talking.