Lunch Money
No matter how solid your partner's divorce settlement might be, how much child support your partner pays, or how tight your own monetary situation may be, you will definitely contribute monetarily to your stepchild. Even if your partner tells you he doesn't expect you to pay for anything involving his child, it is inevitable that you will. This may not be anyone's fault; instead, it is simply a natural result of having a stepchild. Your contribution may be as little as paying for your stepson's bus pass every month or providing lunch money every Thursday. You should expect to pay for some things, and prepare yourself to do so. When you married your partner you accepted his child as part of the deal, so be ready to part with some cash.
According to a survey by the United States Department of Agriculture, in 2001, the cost of raising a child between the ages of zero and seventeen in a dual-parent home was approximately $10,000 per year. This does not include college costs or expenses that are likely to be incurred if the child remains in the home as a dependent after turning eighteen years of age.
Household Expenses
Some ways in which your expenses are likely to rise once you have a stepchild are rather obvious. You may find that you are spending more money at the grocery store and on such items as the electrical, phone, and water bills. If there are more people drawing on your utilities and raiding your refrigerator, your expenses will go up. Other situations might sneak up and surprise you. If your partner never carries cash, you may find that you are always the one to part with $5 a day for lunch money. You may also be the stepmother to a stepdaughter who is too mortified to ask her father to buy her tampons or underwear, so you may end up taking on this cost. You may also be the stepfather to a stepson who needs razors or deodorant and is more comfortable asking you to buy these items. These costs can seem like nothing, but they will add up. Before that happens, talk to your partner about how to handle these little expenses.
If your stepchild has a cell phone, you may want to avoid any involvement in your stepchild's cell phone bill. If your partner wants to put his son on his cell phone plan, great, but you may want to think twice before doing so. Such things as text messaging, picture messaging, and going over his minutes are all going to add up and make for an outrageous cell phone bill.
Many surveys show that money is the number one reason couples fight and even the number one reason couples divorce. If you can keep any money concerns out in the open with your partner, you may safeguard your marriage from certain arguments. When it comes to the seemingly little expenses such as tampons, extra cookies, and increased electricity expenditure, it may sound rather petty if you tell your partner you are fed up with buying tampons every month so he needs to buy them from now on. Think about your stepchild and how to best protect her from embarrassment. If you argue with her father over her tampons, she is going to be mortified. A better way of approaching it is to talk to your partner about how you feel like these expenditures are adding up in a way that you did not expect. Although you may be happy to help out and pay for items concerning your stepchild, it is perfectly reasonable to point out to your partner how much more per month you are spending. Your partner may not realize this, especially if he has nothing to do with the bill paying, and he may simply need to be shown the difference in bills prior to taking on his child and current bills. Your stepchild may visit only, but those times that she is in the house may still cause monetary strain. If this is your first time experiencing life with a child and your partner is used to all of these extra items, it may take a while for the two of you to adjust to a situation that is new for you. You may be shocked at the price of certain kid treats, while your partner always knew the expense, and was so used to it he didn't think that it would be an issue.
It is important to keep an open dialogue between you and your partner about these issues. If you do not raise these issues, your frustration will fester and you may argue with your partner or take out your frustration on your stepchild. As far as money is concerned, it is an issue to keep between adults. Your stepson should not be scolded if your partner forgets to leave his lunch money for him. You can discuss this later with your partner. You and your partner can certainly educate your stepchild about money, but avoid doing it in a way that blames your stepchild for your financial strain. It isn't his fault that he needs to eat or shower! If your grocery bill is too high, you may need to talk to your stepson about changing to generic brands of his favorite foods or saving expensive treats for once a month instead of daily. This is appropriate and can even help your stepson learn about money in a healthy way. He may find it is fun to try and find the best bargains in the grocery-store circular or to see how much electricity he can save each month by turning off his video games an hour earlier.
