Hopefully, your partner pays her child support on time and without argument. If your partner is on the receiving end, hopefully it is an amicable situation and the child support is paid on time. Child support is a legal issue that can put strain on everyone if there is any disagreement, refusal to pay, late payment, or even snide remarks made upon payment. This strain may affect you directly or indirectly, and there is not much you can do to change the situation.

Child support is meant to benefit your stepchild, yet it is often the focus of heated arguments. An angry ex may refuse to pay child support, but instead of hurting her former partner, she only hurts her son by withholding money he needs to sign up for a sports team or attend his prom. You can certainly remind your partner or encourage her to do what is best for her child and pay the child support. If she feels she got the raw end of the deal and is paying too much, you can encourage her to seek out the advice of an attorney on this matter. Stay out of using the child support money as a way to hurt or punish the other biological parent.

Refusal to Pay Child Support

The issue of child support may more directly affect you if the other biological parent refuses to pay child support, you have a biological child with your partner, or the fighting over child support is having a detrimental effect on your stepchild. If the other biological parent refuses to pay child support, it can put more financial strain on you and your partner, and therefore upset or negatively impact your stepchild.

Try to protect your stepchild from feeling as though the arguments are about her or are her fault. She may feel as though her mother doesn't love her because she won't pay child support, when in fact her mother is angry with her father and wants to punish him by not paying. If you can explain this in a positive manner and avoid talking about her mother negatively, that would be best.

If she continues to refuse to pay, encourage your partner to obtain legal advice. Do not call and yell at her or threaten her. You can help your partner by saving receipts or tracking expenses, but the argument is one that should be dealt with in court, away from any situation that may hurt your stepchild.

Discuss the Monetary Affects of Child Support

If you have a biological child with your partner and money is tight and he has to pay child support to the other biological parent, you may end up arguing a bit. You might feel as though he is showing preference to your stepchild by continuing to pay child support when you are struggling to pay for formula and diapers. If you don't talk about this and find a way to remedy the situation, you will risk not only fighting with your partner but also with your stepchild. It is not your stepchild's fault. It is also not his other parent's fault. It is an issue that may need working out or changing with the help of an attorney. If your partner is struggling to financially support your stepchild and the child you have together, it would be wise for him to seek the advice of an attorney.

If your partner seems to be financially strapped by the restraints of child support, you may find yourself feeling angry or frustrated by the whole situation. For example, if you would like to build an addition on your house but can't because the only extra money your partner has goes to your stepchild, you may really feel as though you are in an unfair situation. After all, this is his situation, why are you feeling the punishing effects? Shouldn't you be able to spend money on yourselves and enjoy your marriage?

This is a tough one to swallow. Feeling as if you come second financially can be very difficult; you do come second financially. Spending money on each other comes second to making sure your stepchild is fed, clothed, sheltered, and happy. Don't blame your stepchild for this. Try not to put the blame on anyone. As much as you are in this marriage to celebrate each other, you are also in this marriage as a stepparent, and your stepchild takes precedence. If you are not a parent, try to think like one. Wouldn't you want your child's other parent to make him a priority financially? Most likely, yes.

To assure that you still celebrate your marriage, you can either find ways to save money for a slush fund or you can find ways to enjoy each other without spending money. To save money, you could suggest to your partner that you both set aside $5 a week to go into a night-on-the-town fund. Or maybe give up buying coffee every morning, and put the money saved into a fund for a trip you can take together. To celebrate each other without spending money, there are plenty of fun creative ideas. Have a dinner-in night, and alternate who cooks and who picks the meal. Set the table with candles and shut off all technological devices. You can call the local museums and see when they have a free admission day. It takes creativity, but you can still have time, money, and enjoyment for yourselves if you plan well and get creative.