What Should the Child Call You?
What your stepchild calls you depends more on you when the child is younger and more on her as she gets older. It also depends on the entire family situation. If your stepchild never knew her mother and you are the only mother figure she has, she may end up calling you Mom, if it is okay with you and everyone else. If it feels weird for you, it is fine for you to ask her to call you something else. Don't suggest your stepchild call you Mom if no one else has suggested it. As much as you may want to be called Mom, you are not her mom and there is someone else who is — deserving or not.
Some ideas for what your stepchild might call you may include: your first name; your initials; a nickname (not a mean one!) she made up for you; whatever garbling a toddler may come up with; or an agreed-upon term of endearment.
If your stepchild is calling you Mommy and it makes you cringe in discomfort, do not have an obvious negative reaction, if at all possible. Your stepchild may be trying to let you know she respects you and thinks highly of you. Be gentle when you approach her about what she calls you, and make it a positive change by letting her create a fun nickname for you.
Depending on your relationship, your stepchild may not want to address you at all, except to mutter a few choice nicknames under her breath when she passes by. If this is where you are in your relationship, let it go for now and don't react — at least by calling you Stepmonster or Wicked Witch she is acknowledging your existence. Although these nicknames are far from your hopeful nickname of CJ or Rock Star, you have to start somewhere. In the future, you may even laugh about being called Stepmonster, and it could turn into a term of endearment.
