The more included your stepchild feels in your family in general the more included he may feel in decision making, even if he does not have the final word. As far as adding to the family goes, you probably will not base your decision solely on his opinion. You can, however, listen to his opinions, concerns, and comments. Listening to him may not change your plan to add to the family, but it may help everyone get their feelings out on the table. You may find out that he doesn't want a new sibling because the baby's room is going to be the room he really wanted to have. If this is his primary concern, changing the room may be an easy solution that shows him he has input into family decisions and that he holds an important place in the family unit. He may not want an additional sibling for larger reasons, and encouraging him to voice these reasons may help him deal with your decision.

You may also involve your stepchild in smaller decisions that may have a big impact on his feelings of involvement — for instance, by seeking his input on baby names or colors for the room. After you have your child, using your stepchild as a go-to expert can make him feel very important and involved in the life of the baby as well as the family decision making. Perhaps he can be involved in interviewing potential babysitters and give you his input on which one he liked best and why. He may even have tricks to help his new sibling sleep, eat, or smile. These are all ways your stepson can teach you and feel that he is an important part of the family.

Also important is including your stepchild in event planning. He may be a great help in planning birthday parties, holiday parties, or other events. His input and taking into account his schedule are both ways that may make him feel a true part of the decision-making process. Unfortunately, children often feel as though they don't have the power to make big family decisions because adults are always the ones making decisions and they are just along for the ride — whether they like it or not. You may find that you still make decisions that are not decisions he would make, but that they include something he suggested. For instance, you and your partner might decide that the family trip will be to visit family in Georgia. Perhaps your stepson really wanted to go to an amusement park in Pennsylvania for the family vacation. If you are driving, perhaps it is possible to visit the amusement park on the way there; this way, everyone will get a bit of what they want. Alternatively, are there amusement parks in Georgia he might find interesting? You could also print out a list of all the fun, touristy places in Georgia and let him decide what the family does for one of the days you are there. This may help him feel empowered and as if you really take his opinion into consideration when making decisions.