Should you base your decision to have a child on the other biological parent? No, but he is someone who may be impacted by the decision. First and foremost, he is one of the parents of your stepchild and will have to deal with any emotions your stepchild feels. Also, the addition of a child to your family may mean a decrease in resources for his child, such as time spent at your house, child support, and the role his child holds in your family. Aside from how this change will affect your stepchild, the other biological parent may have his own emotions about this change as well.

You don't need permission to have another child, or even the other biological parent's blessing; however, you do need to respect him and his feelings about the situation. Instead of letting him find out through the grapevine, from your four-year-old stepson, or when your child is born, have a conversation with him to inform him of the news. Your partner may decide it is best that she tell him or that you both tell him. Since she has a longer history with him, she may have greater insight into how he will take the news. He may be absolutely fine with the news or he may be upset. Allow him space to voice his concerns. Are child support payments going to decrease? Is your partner still going to keep up with visitation? Is your partner going to retain full custody? Questions like these are normal and deserve to be answered by a knowing party, which is why it is so important that your partner be prepared for these questions when she relays the news.

It is also important to think about the circumstances of the other biological parent. Is he remarried? Does he have other biological children with his current partner? Is he able to have more children? Is he still pining away for your partner? Is the birth of your child going to coincide with any important events he has approaching? Depending on his situation, he might react in different ways. Some of these questions are ones to which you may not know the answer. If he is having trouble having a child with his current partner, you may not know. He may have a surprising reaction, and still not tell you the reason; keep these thoughts in the back of your mind. If you do find out he has an important event around the time of your child's birth, work with him to allay his concerns. Talk to him about your hope that life will remain as consistent as possible for your stepchild, and let him know that his support is needed in order to create a positive experience for your stepchild.

Hopefully, you and your partner will not endure negative feedback or actions on the part of the other biological parent. The more respect you can extend to him the more he may reciprocate. Just like with your stepchild, you may find the other biological parent will go through a roller coaster of emotions. Be prepared for some changes in attitude about the pregnancy that may appear to have no rhyme or reason to you or your partner. Remember, the other biological parent may have concerns about his child's well being, and any erratic behavior by your stepchild may be attributed to his concern.