Magic, Free Will, and Manipulation

Love spells tend to be the trickiest of all, the place where many magicians go astray and dabble in black magic. That's not to say they hex their partners or wish anything evil to happen. But the heart isn't rational, and powerful emotions can interfere with good judgment. When you want someone really badly, it can be hard to refrain from using magic to manipulate that person.

What makes a spell manipulative? The main criterion to look for is whether it violates another person's free will. You don't have to actively harm someone to misuse magic. Any time you force or coerce a person through magical means to do something he wouldn't do of his own volition, you're on shaky ground. Whenever your desire to get what you want overshadows your respect for another person's rights, you're leaning in the wrong direction.

The book Naughty Spells/Nice Spells by Skye Alexander suggests that before you do a love spell you “Consider the possible consequences — are you willing to accept what happens? Would you advise your best friend to do it? How would you react if someone did it to you? Trust your feelings — if you don't feel right about it, don't do it.”

The Right Way to Do Love Spells

Let's say you're interested in a certain individual and want to entice that person into a romantic relationship. Your intention and the way you word a spell can make a big difference in the quality of the outcome. Instead of stating, “Joe and I are now lovers,” word your affirmation like so: “Joe and I now enjoy the best possible relationship we can have together.” Then, if it's best for the two of you to be lovers, that's what will happen. If, on the other hand, another type of relationship would serve you and Joe better, you'll put yourself in a position to experience what's best for both of you.

When you do a spell to tie a partner to you, you also bind yourself to that person. The bond can be extremely hard to break if you decide later on that your perfect lover isn't perfect after all. Before you do a love spell, be absolutely certain about what you want. Even so, it's wise to turn over the end result to a higher power.

The ideal way is to let the universe find the right mate for you. Instead of fixating on a particular person, do a spell to attract the partner who's right for you. This might turn out to be the individual you've got your eye on, but maybe there's someone even better out there whom you haven't met yet. Doing magic with an open mind and an open heart sends your message into the cosmic web — like posting your request with a magical matchmaking service — so that your perfect partner can receive it and respond.

Doing Spells with a Partner

When it comes to doing magic, two hearts can be better than one — provided you both are in agreement. The blend of yin and yang energies forms a strong, balanced creative force. Doing a spell with a partner to increase the love between you can be a very powerful and beautiful experience. Many couples do magic together to conceive a child or for other joint purposes.

Before you begin, discuss your intentions and your feelings about the spell you plan to do. Each of you should have input in designing and casting the spell. Unless one person is significantly more skilled than the other, try to make your roles in the ritual equal, so that neither partner dominates. Remember, the outcome will affect both of you.

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