Most people like routines. It's good to know what to expect. You make plans based on predictable patterns of activity, and that organization makes you feel comfortable and in control. Breaking routine from time to time can be fun and exciting, but only because the routine itself is comforting and stable.

For children with sensory integration disorder, however, any variation of routine can be terrifying. Since your child can't count on being able to process new experiences with any degree of accuracy, she may try hard to avoid them. It's tough enough, oftentimes, to cope with the challenges of the sensory input that needs processing on a routine day. Your child may develop elaborate strategies for negotiating those difficult passages. Changing plans cause those strategies — and usually your child — to fall apart.

It would be nice if life was always predictable, and we could always ensure our children that each day would be exactly like the one before, easy to plan for and navigate through. Unfortunately, there will always be changes — planned ones like vacations or appointments, unplanned ones like accidents or natural disasters.

Try as much as possible, though, to keep things predictable for your child. Don't change routine without a reason. When you have to change things, talk to your child about it ahead of time and try to help him develop new strategies to take it on. Make respecting the routine a routine.

It may help your child to put a schedule for the day up on the wall, with words for older children, pictures for younger ones. Go over it in the morning or the previous night before bed. This will provide a good opportunity to talk through trouble spots and reassure your child that her concerns are being taken seriously.

Remember, your child often feels that she is the only one who knows what it's like to be her, and she therefore has all the responsibility for making things tolerable. Take some of that responsibility away, and you may have a less-stressed, better-controlled child.