Your child may never have thought about his sensory integration challenges as anything other than the way things are. Help him connect his feelings of dread or pleasure with his sensory profile. Discuss the way he feels about the things you've noticed make him intensely fearful. What is it like for him? What does he think about?

Make it clear that you don't feel the same way about the experience; can he describe it for you? Giving words to feelings helps your child in some way take control over them, and the process may get him closer to finding strategies that will counteract those strong sensory impressions.

Sharing with Your Child

Again, reverse the process by describing something that makes you feel afraid or nervous or stressed-out that doesn't bother your child at all. Try to describe to her the way these things make you feel — the way your body responds, the thoughts that go on in your brain, the actions you take to make yourself feel more normal.

You understand her feelings as just normal variations in experience — help her do the same for your feelings. And then talk about the feelings of other people, real and fictional. This idea that other people feel differently about things than she does, and that they, in turn, react according to their feelings without thinking that others might interpret sensory information differently, may be a revelation to your child.

Asking your child how he feels about things can be a good way of getting information in lots of areas. When your child comes home from school, instead of asking what happened or whether the day was good or bad, try asking how he felt at school today, or what three things made him feel good or bad. Besides opening better communication between you and your child, this may give you some hints about sensory trouble spots during the school day.

Sensory Conflict

Discuss with your child some times when the two of you have had a real disagreement or misunderstanding, and see if you can decipher together the sensory preferences and assumptions that might have been behind your difference of opinion. Bring up some common behavioral trouble spots, like refusing to eat certain foods or dislike of hair washing or preference for certain garments, and ask about her feelings regarding those conflicts. Could there be a sensory reason? Does she think you're deliberately trying to make her uncomfortable? Does she realize that you feel differently?

Be sure to admit when your own sensory issues have been a problem or have bothered your child. Do you have some motor planning problems in the morning that result in late drop-offs to school? Do you put too much spice in food, or not enough?

See if he can help you come up with some instances when you do things he just does not understand. Do the same for other family members. Seeing how sensory differences cause misunderstandings between people may help your child come to terms with how his own perceptions differ from the perceptions of others.