More Than the Money
It is true. Some people work just for the money, and it is not just people who have no other choice; there are countless wealthy people who work just for the payday. Their self-esteem seems to be tied to how much they make and what can be bought with it.
Often, people who work just for the money do so because they have not found their purpose, their passion, their dharma. Finding your purpose means asking, “Why am I here?”
Finding Meaning
Many psychologists, Carl Jung included, found that many of the people they treated (sometimes as many as half) did not suffer from neurosis, or psychosis, but from aimlessness and meaninglessness. People who work to find meaning and purpose, and live their lives making decisions and choices based on their purpose, are the people with the healthiest self-esteem.
Finding your purpose is best explained by Parker Palmer as finding the thing that you cannot not do. That statement may sound somewhat abstract, but it means that you have found the talent, the passion, the miracle inside you that must come out.
For some, it is music or medicine or repairing things or being around people. For others, it is surfing or writing or teaching or working with animals. It is the thing that pulls you so tautly toward your bliss that you can't resist it, though scores of people do! It is sometimes described as “your calling.”
Brainstorming can be one of the most effective ways to look at different professions and to examine your purpose in life. Sit down alone and begin to write down ideas, truths, wishes, hopes, dreams, and fears about your future and your life of work. This gives you a starting place to begin making your transition plan.
Listening to Your Life
Listening to what your life is telling you is as important as you deciding what direction your life should take. Perhaps you have been in a situation where you did not listen to your life, your true self, and your decisions, actions, and choices went against your internal purpose. When you do this, you are usually unhappy and feel unfulfilled. Your self-esteem suffers as a result.
This is why purpose is one of the cornerstones of healthy self-esteem. Without a clear understanding of “Why am I here,” “What is my calling,” and “What does my life want from me,” you will not have the healthy self-esteem that you seek, regardless of how much money you make.
Living purposefully means that you have found your calling, your passion, and all of your efforts, desires, goals, and actions are directed by this purpose. For example, Lynda found that her purpose in life is to help other people by being a social worker for the elderly. This is something that she cannot not do. Even if there were no pay for social work, she would have to do it to feel right about herself. Therefore, her life's goals, desires, and actions are directed by that purpose.
She would not consider moving in another direction unless something fundamental and colossal happened in her life that altered this innate purpose. She does not act in any fashion that might jeopardize her ability to continue working with the elderly. Her purpose guides her actions, her beliefs, and her life. For Lynda, to live a life not being able to draw on her internal strengths (her purpose) would be a meaningless existence.
Meaning in Life
Countless people stake their purpose or meaning in life on jobs; other people focus on material belongings or accomplishments. Purpose is deeper than a job. It is stronger than another person and more resilient than possessions. Purpose does not leave you. You may leave your purpose, but it does not happen the other way around.
Purpose is as necessary as a vital organ but as elusive as the soul. Perhaps this is why so few people spend time discovering their purpose, listening to their purpose, or answering the call of their purpose.
“To put meaning in one's life may end in madness, but life without meaning is the torture of restlessness and vague desire. It is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid to sail.”
— Edgar L. Masters
One way to begin your journey toward purpose in life is to take stock of what is happening in your life. Are you happy with the results of your actions? Do your efforts give you the outcomes you desire? Are you constantly asking yourself, When are things going to get better? Do you try harder and harder and success remains elusive? If so, you may not be living purposefully. You may be on a road that is not in alignment with your life's mission, and this may be one of the reasons for unhealthy self-esteem.
There is an old quote that says, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again and expecting a different result.” The same is true with the relationship between self-esteem and purpose. If you continue to ignore your purpose, or refuse to acknowledge that you have a purpose, and persist in doing the same things over and over and over, self-esteem will remain a mystery to you.
