Another unhealthy characteristic of people with low self-esteem is looking for “love” or affection or even sex from anyone because you do not feel you deserve real love or affection. I'll take what I can get, you convince yourself. He's better than nothing, you say on those lonely nights. These feelings come from years and years of convincing yourself that you are not really worthy of true, authentic love because there is something wrong with you. Stop for a moment and think how totally debilitating, thoroughly devastating, and downright tragic that thought is: “I am not worthy of love. I am not worthy of love.”

So in that unworthy state, you search for anyone who shows you the least bit of attention. You take “love” in any form you can get it. You give of yourself emotionally, financially, and yes, sexually just so you can have another person hold you for a few moments. Does any of this sound familiar? If it does, then you know how demoralizing these actions are to you and how damaging they are to your self-esteem.

The psychologist Abraham Maslow detailed the basic need for every human being to feel love. It is innate. It is a part of our genetic makeup. It is as necessary as air and water, and our need to feel love can sometimes be overwhelming. The relationship of this need to your self-esteem is this — if you feel badly about yourself and feel that you are not truly worthy of something so wonderful, you will either deny yourself this treasure, or you will take it from the first person that offers it, even if it is false and not genuine.

When you wake up in the morning with one more “bad love experience,” this only deepens the feeling and belief that you are not worthy. It is only when you can begin to understand that you do deserve honest love, and that you don't have to take the first thing that comes along (because you believe it may never come again), that you begin to know your worth. Unhealthy self-esteem inhibits us from seeing that authentic, legitimate love is out there for us. It forbids us from being able to welcome, understand, or appreciate the real thing when it comes along.