Clearing Up the Past
Self-esteem is a strange thing. It lives in the present, it lives in the future, and yes, it lives in the past. How can it live in the past, you might ask? It lives there because, in many cases, you have forgotten, neglected, or refused to revisit unpleasant past events and they are holding your self-esteem hostage.
Clearing up the past is one way to begin the road to healthier self-esteem. This may include clearing up messes and mistakes you made or forgiving others for their messes and mistakes.
What the Past MeansThe past is your history. It is your kindred spirit. It is your mirror. The past is what made you who you are at this very moment. You can refute it, ignore it, lie about it, and pretend to change it, but know the truth; the past is the reason that you are
The past is a compelling entity because it cannot be changed. We can forgive, forget, move on, even erase the memory, but the past is set. It is unalterable. However, just because the past is unalterable, this does not mean that the effects and ramifications of the past on your life and self-esteem are unalterable.
The unchecked past dictates how we act in certain situations, how we love, if we love, how we treat others, and how we view many life-altering challenges. It may be that your frustrations, denials, setbacks, and unfinished goals hang in the balance because of unresolved conflicts and issues from the past.
Conflicts and issues that you had in your childhood and early family relationships that are left unresolved will still exist in current relationships. The issues won't just go away.
Resolving issues from the past can help you alter the state of your self-esteem. It can help you eliminate the weight that has loaded you down for years. Resolution, or at least acknowledgment of the event, can help you move on.
One of the most important things about revisiting the past is the ability to reshape and recast your views of what happened. This is not to suggest that you got it all wrong the first time, but it is to say that with age and more experience, you may look at the unvisited event in a different light and see parts of it that were simply unnoticeable before.
