The first job of a professional seller is to sell themselves to other people. They must help customers, prospects, suppliers, managers, and service providers trust them. Without trust, there will be no transaction.

But people come in all sizes, shapes, temperaments, inclinations, moods, and positions of authority. How can you really understand them? How can you quickly determine what type of person you are dealing with and how that person prefers to be helped in the buying process? Behavioral scientists suggest that you can listen to what people say, read how they say it, relate to their communications, and then respond appropriately. Applying these four easy steps can help you to better understand the people you come in contact with in your job and your life.

Listen

It is difficult to simultaneously speak and listen. Yet many salespeople attempt to make the sale only by talking. They are actually blocking out what the buyer wants to say. Remember that the job of a seller is to help others buy, not to talk about every feature and benefit of the product.

You can become a better listener by asking the buyer essential questions, then listening to and utilizing their answers. As suggested in Chapter 2, asking open- and closed-ended questions can help you — and the buyer — discover what information is needed to make the sale. Examples of open-ended questions include:

• How will you be using this product?

• What experiences have you had with buying this product?

• What experiences have you had with using this product?

• Please tell me about the person that you're buying this for.

Following are a few examples of closed-ended questions for buyers:

• Do you have a budget for buying this product?

• When do you need this product?

• Which of these do you think will do the job for you?

• Do you prefer the red one or the blue one?

Depending on what is sold, most salespeople start with open-ended questions to learn as much as they can about the buyer, his or her needs, and the problem that the product is intended to solve. Then the seller moves to closed-ended questions to narrow the search and help guide the buyer toward an appropriate selection.

Read

Not all communications are heard. In fact, reluctant talkers may tell you more by their body language. There are numerous books on how to ready body language, but observation and common sense also are good teachers.

By watching customers respond to other salespeople you can learn to read your own customers. What do they do with their hands during the stages of the buying process? Do they look at the seller, the product, or somewhere else when talking and listening? Do they stand facing the seller or toward the product or display? Can you, by watching the customer, successfully predict what will happen next?

Relate

Listening and watching are key components of understanding others. However, you need to understand what you hear and see. The easiest way to understanding is through empathy. Don't just hear or see what they are telling you, feel it. Put yourself in their shoes. Consider how you would feel and what you would think if you were in their position. Then sell them as you want to be sold.

Relating to others is a learned skill and may take time for some to develop. However, it's worth the effort, as it can empower you in many ways by helping you better understand your buyers, your employer, and others in your life.

Respond

As you learn more about your buyer, the problem that needs to be solved, and how she or he makes buying decisions, you will be ready to help with appropriate responses. Often, the best response is another question. Carefully probing with questions can help direct the buyer toward a decision.

• Will this model meet your needs?

• What other features would help you?

• If I offered a 10 percent discount today would that help you make your decision?

Listen, read, relate, and respond to your buyer. It's probably how you would like to be sold.