Guardians for Children
Your will has no role more important than naming a guardian for your children until they come of age. To be completely covered, you need to name an alternate in case the primary person asked to serve as guardian cannot should the need arise. Both parties need to agree to take on this responsibility. This is not news to spring on anyone at the time your will is read. When you approach the person you want to help with this mighty task, be reasonable in your approach. Give him a way to say no gracefully. In other words, do not lay the ultimate guilt trip on him. Ask him to think about it, and to talk it over with his own family members if appropriate. Assure him that you will be completely understanding if they decline.
Even though you name a guardian in your will, the court will have final authority on who will get the assignment. The purpose of your will is to advise the court of your wishes. By doing your homework on this excruciatingly important matter, intrafamily conflicts over who would be best suited to take on your kids may be deflected.
In the case of a divorce, if you have custody and die the other parent will have the strongest position to take custody. Even if you try to name someone else, the courts may overrule your choice and award custody to your ex-spouse.
Splitting the Children
In most instances parents would prefer their children to move together as a unit to the care of a designated guardian. Depending on the ages and extended family relationships, it's possible that different guardians may be designated for individual offspring. Joey, your eldest, may already be in college and would be just as happy to have his godfather, your college roommate and Joey's lifelong champion, be his port in the storm. At the same time Joey's younger siblings, still in middle or high school, would be better off under the care of your sister and husband, who have children about the same ages and live in your town so everyone could continue in their respective schools.
Financial Responsibilities for Children
It is an enormous imposition to ask someone to take responsibility for raising your children. The role of guardian does not require providing care and nurturance from their own pocket. Part of your responsibility is to make sure funds would be there if you are no longer able to generate income. This is usually accomplished with life insurance policies. More than likely your minor offspring would be eligible for social security benefits based on your work history (and possibly for other public welfare benefits, too), but it is unlikely those monies would cover all of their support needs.
You may want to appoint a separate financial guardian to manage your property for your children. This can be an administrative burden to your designee because periodic reports to the courts will be required. The smoothest way to handle assets your children will inherit is through a trust. The last thing you would want is to have a teenager suddenly inherit a big pot of money with no checks and controls on how it can be spent.
Keep in mind that once your children reach the age of majority — eighteen in some states, twenty-one in others — they are entitled to assume control over assets held on their behalf as minors by their guardian. It is better to have a plan in place to make certain these assets continue to work for them while they reach greater maturity.
The guardian's official role expires when your children reach the age of majority. If you have done a good job of choosing the right person (or per-sons) to serve in your place as a loving responsible parent, your kids may have deep and binding relationships with their guardian to carry with them throughout life. Whoever takes on the job of raising your children will have the double duty of helping to mend a broken heart while taking care of everything from kiddy carpools to college search. It's a lot to ask. Make sure the one you choose is up to the task.
