Doing the Work to Quit Work
In just the same way you start early on a disciplined path toward financial security, after you stop working full-time you need to start early in getting to know the person you will become later. Somehow you need to find a way to get a perspective on yourself. Know what makes you tick. In your working years, it is easy to become consumed with the pressures of the job. It may be exhausting, but you know who you are and where you stand. You might be overwhelmed with demands as a charge nurse at a major teaching hospital, but you know that your knowledge and experience are valued and drawn upon every day in actual life or death moments. When you leave work:
Will you miss the adrenaline rush of responding to a crashing patient?
Who will jump when you bark orders — your dog? Your kids who don't live at home any more?
Who will you talk to who understands what you are saying without your even getting full sentences out?
Where will you be at 4 p.m. when you no longer are writing patient notes from the day?
Your whole life will be in flux as you move from the place where you are at the top of your game to where the big decision of the day is whether to have the green beans or the broccoli with your low-fat fish dinner. Before you step off the treadmill, do some homework to find ways to fulfill the following aspects of your life in a rich and rewarding way:
A daily routine
New roles
New or changing relationships
Your identity
Expect to take a while to make the transition fully. At first you might not want to jump right into another big commitment. You may need time to rest and regroup. You will enjoy this deserved downtime much more, however, if you have a plan for what you want to pursue next.
Try to remain flexible as you reshape your goals to match up to changes in your circumstances. You might have the financial aspects of your retirement sorted out just fine, but find yourself entering this time with a serious health issue that limits your ability to do everything you had expected. You can feel robbed of something you had painstakingly prepared for if things don't go exactly as you had so carefully planned; or you can find new and different ways to enjoy what you have.
It is a good thing to grieve for your past career. So much of who you are was tied up in it that a part of you has been left behind. The trick is not to wallow in anger or depression indefinitely. Rather, move through the grief and open yourself to new ways of finding meaning in life.
