Types of Sex Today
Sure it's all still done the same way Adam and Eve or whoever started all this did it, but kids today (and some adults) have some unique views on what is sex and what is not. You'll need to know what you are talking about before talking to your kids.
“Friends with benefits” (“FWBs”) seem to have surfaced in the late 1990s or early 2000s. “FWBs” are friends who do not date and do not plan to date but who have sexual relations. Boys like to call girls who will give them oral sex with no real obligation their “FWBs,” and some girls take pride in having them too.
You need to explain to your daughter that truly, there is no such thing as unconnected sex, and that her body and her self are precious commodities that she should not just dole out to anyone at all. Talk to her about the reason adults have sex in relationships. It is okay to be honest about the physical high sex gives you, but explain that with it comes an emotional connection that is an important part of the act. She should only want to feel sex that way.
If for some reason you hear that being a “FWB” is “cool” in your daughter's school or circle, discuss it with her immediately. Talk to her about her pride and self-worth, and encourage her not to share her body with anyone except someone she is truly, in a grown-up way, in love with. Of course she'll feel like she's in love, and that's an issue too, but to have sex with a friend who she never plans to have a relationship with? Explain how she'll feel about it looking back 25 years from now.
According to a poll by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, two-thirds of teen girls who had sexual relations wish they had not.
Some girls today believe that so long as they never have penetration, they are still virgins. According to this line of thought, oral sex, anal sex, and dry-humping mean they are still virgins. You need to let your daughter know that sex is sex, and whether or not her vagina has been penetrated won't matter to her self-esteem or to her reputation. In the end, close, personal and intimate contact of any kind is going to affect her and affect her relationships. Encourage her to view them all in the same way.