To Share Your Past (or Not)
When they were little, it was fun to tell stories about your life when you were her size. But at a certain point, you crossed over to a time when your stories might not be all you want your daughter to emulate. Parents of today face a daunting question: should you be honest or hide some facts? The answer depends on how present the information.
You smoked pot before school in high school. You lost your virginity to a girl whose name you don't even recall. You got caught drinking and kicked off the softball team. Sure, all those things are moments you are not proud of, yet they are moments that helped shape your vision of life for your daughter. So what of total honesty?
Some parents find that admitting their stumbles helps their daughter see that they are human and that all people make mistakes in life and live to see another day.
The goal of your honesty should not be to shock or impress your daughter, but rather to help her understand that you really
If you are going to share some of your not-so-smart moments with your daughter, make sure not to glorify them. Help her to see the consequences you faced because of your actions, and why you wish you could go back and change your decisions.
Other parents don't want to let their child know about mistakes they've made, fearing they might open up the idea of such mistakes to their daughter. They fear hearing things like, “How dare you punish me for drinking when you had ‘three-keggers’ in the woods when you were my age?” If the truth is you never minded pot and really don't regret using it, you may want to keep that from your daughter at this age. An illegal act is an illegal act, and finding out the brutal truth about that by having to bail a daughter out of jail is not a good option.
Other parents fear losing their child's respect. And in some drastic cases, this could happen. Think through your war stories and ponder over what good it will do your daughter to know them. If the only answer you can come up with is it will shock her, you are better off keeping it to yourself.