What Is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is a collection of thoughts or feelings we hold about ourselves. These feelings begin to develop at an early age and influence nearly everything in our lives.
Children with a healthy self-esteem are more adaptable. They tend to be happier and better adjusted. Parents play a big part in developing healthy self-esteem in their children. One of the best things you can do is to be a good role model. If you have a negative self-esteem, you risk passing it along to your son. If he sees you constantly saying negative things about yourself or being unrealistic about your abilities and limitations, he will adopt these feelings about himself. But if you exhibit signs of a positive self-esteem, your son will learn those habits from you. Parents with a high self-esteem tend to be more affectionate and supportive and set firmer guidelines for their son's behavior.
When dealing with your son's difficult situations, including failures, be sure to focus on the efforts your son makes. Be sure to tell him that you're proud of him for trying. It is important to be realistic. Do not focus on the outcomes.
Essential
By giving your child physical attention like hugs and kisses, you can help raise his self-esteem by letting him know you value him. Be sure to do so in a location and in a way that is acceptable to your son.
Signs that your son has a negative self-esteem include a negative outlook on just about everything. He may have a low tolerance for frustration and be reluctant to try new things for fear of failure. If you find your son constantly being critical of himself, you should seek the help of a qualified counselor to help get things on the right track. Left unchecked, a low self-esteem can lead to depression and other problems.
That said, it's not abnormal for your son to experience short periods of being down in the dumps. If your son seems to be in a funk and you aren't sure if it's a low self-esteem or just a bad couple of weeks, talk to him. He might be able to quickly allay your fears and verbalize that he is simply a bit down over something very specific. Be more worried if he has a general state of depression and can't seem to break out of the cycle.
Narcissism is on the rise, according to W. Keith Campbell, a psychology professor at the University of Georgia. Having too much self-esteem can lead your son into trouble. Narcissistic personalities are more likely to have failures in relationships and tend to lack empathy and react poorly to criticism.
Fact
When parents are less involved, teens' peer relationships become overly important to them. The negative pressure can increase, which may lead to your son experimenting with or abusing drugs and alcohol.
While it is important for your son to realize that he has special talents and dreams, learning to recognize these same qualities in others is a crucial social skill. He must also learn that everyone fails at something. You simply can't expect to be perfect in all you do. Learning that lesson early is usually easier than when you're away from home and lack the safety net of your parents.
