Don't Relive Your Own Adolescence
Many parents inadvertently relive or try to relive their own adolescence through the years their son is living his own adolescence. This is a huge mistake. It will only stand to bring about conflict and feelings of dissatisfaction.
Ah, the joys of being a teen. You probably had some really good times when you were a teen. You may have also had at least a few really bad times — or at least things you wish you could change. This is not your chance.
There are, no doubt, lingering issues that we all have to deal with from our own adolescence. If you have these feelings, you may not know or recognize them until you are in the throes of your son's adolescence. If you find you are experiencing issues of unresolved feelings, guilt, longing, or other odd emotions, you may consider seeking mental health support.
Fact
If you had a hard time growing up because of a negative experience or if something feels unresolved, it is absolutely normal to want to spare your son these feelings. The problem is that it doesn't work this way. Your son must live his own life, and you must let him.
You often hear people telling teens to enjoy these years because they are the best of their lives. Teens often think the adults who say this are lying, crazy, or both. But the truth is that there is something unique about being a teen. There is a sense of freedom and safety that you can never quite recapture once you move on.
During these years, your son will take important steps toward being an adult. To skip a step or to be robbed of the experience is a dent in his ability to move forward. Be cognizant of the fact that your son needs to do many things during these years and that you need to let him actually do them; you cannot grow for him.
