Between after-school activities, late work days, and fast food, who has the time or inclination to make steak au poivre with a garden salad on a regular basis? That's the wrong question. You should ask yourself who needs the family meal. The answer, of course, is everyone.

A Great Ritual

The family meal provides an invaluable opportunity to gather at the end of a long day of study and work to eat and socialize with each other.

By getting together every day or most days of the week, you can actually find out a lot of information about how your son's life is going. It is a time to eat, yes, but it is also a time for your family members to talk about life. Some days the conversations may be lighthearted; other days they may be nonexistent, but stick with it.

Think of the family meal as a time to take the emotional temperature of your family. Your son's moods and attitudes will tell you a lot about his day, even if he doesn't. Dinner gives you a chance to explore deeper, either during or after. It also gives him a chance to be with you in a safe environment. Dinner is a natural way to get the family together, a prescheduled, guaranteed time for everyone to meet. Eating together sends a message that you are spending time with your son because you want to.

Planning a Family Meal

Don't sweat having a family meal if you haven't done it in a while. All you do is pick a time, inform everyone of that time, and add food — instant family meal! Do not stress about what you're eating. It does not have to be a huge Thanksgiving-style dinner. It really is about the family.

Expect that your family may buck at the idea of having to come to the table together if it is a new concept. Slowly integrating family night back into your lives naturally eases the transition.

Many families decide to make these nights sacred: to interfere with family dinner night is a huge deal. If something does come up, be flexible. Reschedule for a different night or evaluate whether the conflicting event can be postponed. Remember that your son may see things differently than you do, so this is one area to expect conflict.

Sitting around the table together may feel awkward at first. Start a conversation by asking what everyone did at school or work that day. If this elicits a bunch of “nothings,” you may have to dig deeper. Some families play games while eating. One game, which works well for all ages, is to pick a letter and then go around the table and have everyone say a word that begins with this letter. It sounds really simple, but it turns out to be a lot of fun. You hear some crazy words and your kids will be amusingly competitive. The point is, don't stress if great conversations don't happen the first time you sit down at the table; it does take time.